Gone by the wayside

Since Parker got sick, so many things are just not getting done the way I had planned. It’s allowed my habit for procrastination to flourish- because if i’m spending all day tending to sick kids, how can I make time for things that don’t absolutely NEED to be done right away?

And though I know that OBVIOUSLY, taking care of my kids (especially Parker considering his current situation) is the #1 priority, all the little things left lying around the house waiting for me to get around to them are starting to pick at me. Why not do them after the kids go to bed? Why not just take a LITTLE spare time in the evening to get some of this crap out of the way?
Lemme tell you, after a day of a screaming infant who has to literally be force fed EVERY single feeding (yeah, it got worse, go fig), refuses to be put down.. is coughing and gagging and heaving constantly, and a 2 year old who is seriously the whiniest child on the face of the earth because he’s milking the fact that he’s still the TINIEST bit sick..
the LAST thing I want to do once both kids are in bed is peel my ass off of the couch and work on ‘projects.’
No. I just want to sit here and relax and veg, and try to unwind from the terrible God awful day that just transpired.. or there’s no way I could wake up and do it again.

ESPECIALLY tonight, when I know Thomas will be going to work tomorrow and i’ll be left to deal with all of this alone.. and i’m already unsure if I can hold it together long enough to shove 2 ounces down Parker’s throat every hour or so while Holden whines and coughs at me.

Really, though, there’s no such thing as relaxing in this house. Not really. There’s always something stressful on my mind. Will Parker be WORSE tomorrow? Will Holden get sick AGAIN? What about the 350 photos that need to be labeled and put into albums? What about all the framed photos that still need to be hung on the walls? What about the broken toy that needs to be sent back to Amazon? What about the bonus room, it STILL needs a second coat of paint and all the trim needs to be primed and painted as well. What about all the laundry that is sitting in the bedroom waiting to be put away? Will I even have TIME to work out tomorrow if Parker is still screaming nonstop and having to eat so often? Am I going to gain weight back and undo all the hard work i’ve done?

Seriously, the list goes on and on and on. I wish it didn’t, but it does. And the longer Parker is sick (not to blame him, because I have no problem putting all this crap on the back burner until he’s better.. well.. other than the exercise), the more crap that will add ON to that list.

Bottom line: the kid needs to get better, NOW. Mostly for his sake, partly for mine. I’m going to go insane if this lasts much longer.

Posted on February 7, 2010 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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