There are those few moms (or maybe more than a few) out there who ruin the reputation of Stay At Home Moms everywhere. You know the ones i’m talking about. The alcoholics. The lazy couch sitting daytime television watching while their kids go crazy and tear the house apart moms. The ‘we’re living in a pig sty because I just don’t feel like cleaning, ever, and will continue to use my kids keeping me busy as an excuse’ moms. All different kinds of crappy, slacker moms that make the rest of us look bad.
And then there’s the people, who will ALWAYS think that stay at home moms do absolutely nothing. That taking care of kids is a piece of cake and they could do it with their hands tied behind their back, that we’re all just a bunch of slackers who don’t want to work.
Let me say something to you folks- kids ARE work. We may not consider them work all the time, because we spawned them after hours of intensely painful labor.. but they are harder and more time consuming than ANY job i’ve ever had- and i’ve held a whole plethora of different jobs.
My day is never what I would consider boring, and anyone who thinks they’d get bored out of their skull staying home with their kid probably should never be a stay at home mom, for many reasons that stem from that assumption.
If I get a moment to myself.. and I mean TOTALLY to myself- 100% kid free before 9:30 at night I would consider that an incredibly lucky day.
Let’s use today as an example.
Today started at 3am when Holden woke up screaming bloody murder and absolutely insisted on coming into bed with us. This meant I had to try and console him, because where typically just being in our bed calms him down- in the weeeeeeeee hours this morning, it did not.
Parker then woke at 7, and since Thomas had to leave early- I ended up doing the morning feeding, which in turn woke Holden up.
I tried setting Parker on the bed to just let him hang out until 8 when Holden and I get the day started but he wasn’t having it- so into the swing he went.
8am means preparing breakfast and getting Holden and myself fed. Immediately after that was getting Parker’s medication swallowed (he doesn’t EVER like to swallow it without coaxing), his first breathing treatment, and then feeding him again. All the while dealing with Holden and getting him to the potty and keeping him happy.
Then I put Parker in his swing for a nap since I could tell he was tired but no rocking was working and I didn’t have time to sit down and force him into submission since it was exercise time.
Before I could do that, I remembered I hadn’t done the breakfast dishes.. so I hurry through those, finish- only to realize I had another bottle i’d forgotten to wash. AUGH!
And then to top it off, I needed to do a load of the kids laundry since yesterday was piss and shit crazy, so I gather all that crap and throw it in.
I immediately start working out while Holden played with his toys.. and right after that I take Holden to the bathroom to let him pee and get him and myself dressed.
Luckily Parker was still sleeping so I had time to sit at the computer and see if there were any paid posts for me to take for this very blog while simultaneously getting my makeup done quickly and without making myself look like a hooker due to rushing.
Once he woke up, it was feeding time again- since he has to be fed more frequently since he can’t eat as much due to his fast breathing.. and in the middle of his feeding he decided to crap himself crazy. He won’t eat with a poopy diaper, so off I went to change him.. and he pissed EVERYWHERE about 4 times. All over the changing table, the wall, the floor.. me.
I quickly get him cleaned up and changed and that’s when I realized lunch was 15 minutes late.
I tried to get Parker to eat more, but he really wasn’t having it- so I said screw it and put him in his bouncy chair and got lunch ready.
Holden and I ate while Parker sat happily.. but got restless toward the end so I stuck him in his jumperoo to play.
Finished lunch, got Holden to the bathroom to take a crap.. gave him a treat, washed dishes, checked email.. and then it was BACK to the bathroom for Holden and then down for a nap.
Since Parker had eaten an hour earlier, it wasn’t time for him to nap yet.. so I had to keep him entertained for the next hour, QUIETLY, while Holden napped, to bide the time until the next bottle.
Bottle time comes, I get his diaper changed and him fed and he falls asleep. I rock him for a bit and then attempt to put him down- no dice.. more rocking. Rocked him all the way up until Holden woke up from his nap.. when I quickly put Parker down and ran over to Holden- who of course, was covered in pee since 80% of the time he refuses to hold it during nap time.
Got Holden naked, washed off, washed down his bed, re-dressed.. and then got him a snack. Parker stayed asleep, once again, lucky.
Holden and I read a few books and played together a little until Parker woke up. He woke up late.. so I had to rush to get his second breathing treatment done.. and he screamed pretty much the whole time because he was hungry.
Gave him an extra big bottle.. which he inhaled, and then he puked a bunch back up all over himself. Tried to get him to play for a bit.. but he fussed, so once I got him his 2nd dose of prilosec- I put him back down for another nap. This was a task and a half. He fought sleep like a champ.
Was so exhausted by that point that rocking him basically put ME to sleep too and I found it nearly impossible to keep from dozing off.
I’m lucky I have a toddler that really enjoys independent play or i’d be seriously screwed.
I put Parker down once Holden asked to be taken to the bathroom, and he stayed asleep by himself which I did NOT expect. Holden and I played together until Thomas got home and then the night time rituals began, which I will NOT go into. Even though I had Thomas home, there is always still a ridiculous amount of crap to get done until both boys go to bed around 9pm.
And THAT is my day in a nutshell. Not including dealing with a few mini-tantrums from Holden and billions of potty trips and all the books I was asked to read.
How anyone can think that THAT is simple, boring or easy is beyond me. Kids are a LOT of work. A work of passion, but work nonetheless. It is a 24 hour “job”, with very few breaks, and sporadic payments of kisses, hugs, and milestones reached.
It is not for the lazy, the weak-stomached, or the faint of heart.
I've gotten to the point where I'd let my kids summon a demon with a Ouija board before I'd let them play Monopoly together again.
Parenthood is when you start counting the minutes to bed time before 11am.
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