Roll your eyes and mumble under your breath if you like- but growing up I NEVER had skin issues. No acne, not very many zits, no greasy T-Zone problem.. nothing. I was blessed with “clear” skin.. but I did have freckles- which got me teased up until high school when freckles became “cool.” I considered those permanent zits, since most evil boys back then did not find them even the slightest bit attractive, having non-zitty skin wasn’t exactly getting me any dates.
Out of nowhere in the winter of… 2004 I think? I broke out in a very mysterious rash. Red, patchy, scaly.. and ITCHY. I was concerned it was ring worm from living in a grubby house with grubby roommates, so I decided, for once, to go to the doctor (since I had no insurance and sure as shit wasn’t going to go and pay out the ass if it wasn’t serious.)
First mistake was going to an urgent care, or as my Dad likes to call them “Doc in the Box”- as I like to call them “I suck too much to get a job at a REAL practice”
I had to ASK him to test the damn rash for ring worm, it certainly looked like it. Negative. He came up with the diagnosis that I was “allergic to dogs” since my roommate had a dog. I knew this was wrong instantly. I’d had dogs my ENTIRE life, even dogs that weren’t all that clean- and never once broke out in any kind of rash.
I don’t remember what he gave me to “treat” this “allergy”.. but it didn’t work. Duh.
The guy I was dating at the time’s sister was a dermatologist, so after WEEKS of dealing with this crap we decided to take pictures and send them to her (she lived in Florida).
Her diagnosis from hearing the symptoms and seeing the pictures was Pityriases Rosea. An unexplained rash that typically shows up after having a cold.. stays for a few weeks, or even a month.. and then goes away to return. Not contagious, nothing serious. Just use some cortizone and be patient.
I googled pictures and descriptions and it definitely seemed to match. And sure enough, after using the cortizone for a week or so, the rash was gone. HOORAY!
Along comes the next winter, and guess who came back to torture me again? Mystery rash! HI MYSTERY RASH! I MISSED YOU!
I was confused, to say the least. Wasn’t I only supposed to get this once?? And NEVER again?? Why is it back??
This damn rash has come back EVERY WINTER SINCE. Every single damn one!
It’s obviously NOT Pityriases Rosea.. because we’re on year 6 or 7 now.
While I hate the stupid rash and it makes my life an ugly itchy hell, i’ve sort accepted that it’s just going to happen.. and I deal with it. It’s not contagious, no one else has ever caught it- nothin’ to worry about.
Yeah well, that’s wrong too.
Last year I found a small patch of very similar looking circles on Holden. They didn’t last long, but they were most definitely there.
And then Thomas broke out in it as well.
This year, Thomas, Parker AND I have it. Poor Parker has it on his FACE.
OH, and my BROTHER has it. He called me up the other day and started talking about a rash he just noticed that “looks like ringworm”
I stopped him immediately: “that’s not ring worm”
It’s not where I live, because i’ve lived in about 6 different places since first getting the rash and no change in environment has kept the rash at bay..
BUT- every single rash I look up that looks and/or sounds similar to this one? Says it is NOT contagious. Dermatitis? Not contagious. Eczema? Not contagious. Pityriases Rosea? NOT CONTAGIOUS.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?? Do we have the freaking plague or something?? Leprosy?? Nothing makes sense!
I know we all need to suck it up and make a trip to a dermatologist to get it REALLY looked at and maybe scraped and tested.. but that would mean making time for all of us to go and yet ANOTHER copay. Blah.
Once again, i’m using cortizone to get rid of this crap, and slowly but surely it’s going away. Unfortunately, you have to be very careful using that stuff on a baby. Can only use it for 2-3 days twice a day.. and that did NOT rid him of the rash. It got a little better while using it, but once we stopped it went ass-crazy and now looks worse than ever. Moron doctor tried to tell me it’s “cradle cap”
Yeah, you gonna tell me I have cradle cap too, smart ass??
Just another one of the many many reasons I freaking HATE the winter time. Warm weather can not come any sooner!
Winning Advice from an 8-year old goo.gl/fb/MmhfYU
Y'know what's awesome? I don't even have to waste time trying new recipes because my kids will tell me they hate it before I start cooking.
@Julieannefiu I still sing WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE. I think they're lying about the "real" lyrics
I sang SO many embarrassingly wrong song lyrics with such confidence. pic.twitter.com/Ww5TaAxY3r
@AndreaPerez0217 Not that I'm biased, but I highly recommend ;) Hope you enjoy!
Parenthood: you think it's gonna be all hugs & booboo kisses, but it's really cooking food everyone hates & scraping boogers off of walls.