The birth control saga continues! Seriously, it shouldn’t be so damn hard to halt my uterus from making babies.
We left off in this continuing story where I was given a prescription to start my period.. and started it on my own- because my uterus is ornery and doesn’t like to be told what to do.
After that happened, I was to call my OB to schedule coming in to get the depo shot.. only we all got sick.
Being that they don’t even want HEALTHY children in the office in fear of getting the preggos sick, I figured me being there would be just as frowned upon.. not to mention bad karma. That, and anyone I got to watch my kids also has kids- and I can’t exactly ask someone to come over here and get all germy only to chance giving it to their non-germy little one.
The smartest idea to me was to wait until everyone in the house was a-ok, to where I knew I wouldn’t get anyone sick by leaving, and they wouldn’t get anyone sick who came over.. and then make the appointment. Not thinking it would be a big deal at all.
I meant to call yesterday (as everyone seemed to be feelig 100% by Friday afternoon and there’s no point in calling in on the weekend because no one’s there), but like most days, time got away from me and I forgot.
So I give them a call today. They ask what pharmacy I go to.. and then tell me a nurse will call me back. the pharmacy question baffled me- isn’t depo a shot in the arm? Do they have me marked down for the wrong meds?
A surprise to me, it didn’t take them long to call me back.. but it wasn’t just them asking me what day I wanted to come in. They started playing 20 questions with me. And not just ANY questions.. but really personal questions.
The period question I get, wondering when it started and ended.. but they were not all that pleased that I had waited so long after it had ended to call them.
Hey… lady… I was doing YOU all a favor!
It went straight back to how they just don’t trust me not to get myself knocked up if I don’t come in DIRECTLY after my period.
Seriously?? Why do you think i’m GETTING birth control?? I’ve said it a million times- I’M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES!
And yet again, they didn’t believe me.
So the deal is something like this: I have to PICK UP my depo from the pharmacy (weird) and bring it to them to have them stick it in my arm.. BY FRIDAY. And according to lady on the phone, Friday “is pushing it”– because she thinks i’m DYING to have sex and just can’t wait until then! Never even met this woman.. didn’t mention anything about any kind of sex to her and she thinks i’m some kind of nympho with no will power??
Even if I can find a sitter and make it in on Friday, they’re going to give me a pregnancy test.
If I can’t make it Friday?? (and honestly, Friday doesn’t seem doable at this point to me).. either I have to wait until my NEXT cycle.. which would be pointless because then I might as well just get the shot at my annual appointment, which is also in February.. Or, I have to come in TWO days in a row. One for a blood pregnancy test, and then another day to get the shot once the results come back “if they’re negative.”
That obviously doesn’t work for me. Finding a sitter for ONE day is hard enough, but two- in a ROW? I think not.
The level of mistrust is maddening. On one side, I realize they can’t exactly take my word for it- because i’m sure they’ve been lied to by ladies before..
but on the other- Why would I lie?? I’ve waited this long, to be safe, and i’m tired of being questioned about it as though it’s totally unbelievable.
At this point, i’m extremely tempted to pick up the depo from the pharmacy and stick it in my damn arm myself. I am soo so tired of having to jump through flaming hoops just to get this crap done.
I should have just chosen a pill.
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times