Today is that day that comes once a year.. where you either celebrate, or cry over getting another year older. You’re supposed to have fun with friends and family, eat cake.. and just generally have a good time. Maybe even get some presents- because who doesn’t deserve some presents on their birthday?
I think now, after the past two years.. I officially hate birthdays- maybe even MORE than Christmas.
Last year, I spent my birthday evening alone.. in this house, which was completely empty.. painting & caulking- with no heat.
Sounds like a FANTASTIC time, doesn’t it?
This year I really hoped would be better. Not that I was excited about the actual age I was turning.. cause once you’re past 25, you’re in your late twenties, well on your way to thirties- and then getting old and wrinkly and decrepit. As if I don’t feel old enough with two kids and no social life, I certainly don’t need my age to reflect that as well.
We’d planned to go out to dinner with my Dad and Step mom, my brother, and maybe some of the step siblings- to my absolute favorite restaurant in the entire world. I knew I was getting a gift certificate of some sort from my Dad (ok, at least I THOUGHT so, because that’s all I told him I wanted) to FINALLY get new clothes.. because I seriously desperately need them. Nothing I have fits. Everything has holes. I go into my closet and just get sad because I hate absolutely everything I own- so the thought of having the opportunity to get some new stuff and maybe feel GOOD about myself was very exciting.
Let me stop the story for a minute and remind you that I HATE snow. I hate rain, I hate wind, I hate cold weather.. but I REALLY REALLY REALLY hate snow. It is miserable and bleak and ruins just about everything it touches.
Being in Virginia, our winters are typically pretty mild. We do get snow, pretty much every year- but it almost NEVER sticks. The most we get is about an inch on the ground, if that, most winters.
Well, wouldn’t you know it- the day the heavens decide to open up and shit that awful white crap ALL over the place in ridiculous amounts.. is MY damn birthday.
And because Virginia typically doesn’t get this kind of snow.. people FREAK. They act like it’s a BLIZZARD, the end of the whole world. They stock up on water and milk and drive like they have forgotten all of their damn “skills.”
On top of that, absolutely EVERYTHING shuts down. Stores, doctors offices, restaurants.. even fast food places which will normally brave ANY kind of weather.
No, not today.
Upon realizing we had no lunch meat, we realized we had to brave the storm and try to find SOMETHING open out in the desolate city.
No streets were plowed. Not even attempted. So with two cranky kids (did I mention Holden woke up even sicker than before? I have NEVER seen so much snot pour out of a kids head as is coming out of his. ugh), we had to drive 25 all over town until we FINALLY found somewhere open. TGI Fridays. I do not like TGI Fridays. Ugh. It was good.. but my stomach did NOT agree if you get my drift.
While out, we saw just how much was shut down.. and realized my birthday dinner was NOT going to happen. Great.
Also, all of the ABC (liquor) stores were closed. Every single one. So washing away this god awful day with a nice mixed drink was ALSO not going to happen. I do not like “bitch beer”- drinks that sweet make me sick and it takes waayyy too many to even get anything resembling a buzz.
Dinner time? Hell. Since Holden is sick, he’s refusing to eat. And instead of chewing, he just chokes himself on whatever’s in his mouth.. and ended up vomiting pizza EVERYWHERE.
The only one who had a good day was Parker. Guess that’s better than nothing. Grrr.
This can go down as the WORST BIRTHDAY EVER. EVER!!!!!
My brother is on his way over now with some drinks.. but earlier today HE crashed into a ditch and messed up his SUV. Bad day all around. STUPID SNOW!!! I HATE YOU!
@Julieannefiu I still sing WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE. I think they're lying about the "real" lyrics
I sang SO many embarrassingly wrong song lyrics with such confidence. pic.twitter.com/Ww5TaAxY3r
@AndreaPerez0217 Not that I'm biased, but I highly recommend ;) Hope you enjoy!
Parenthood: you think it's gonna be all hugs & booboo kisses, but it's really cooking food everyone hates & scraping boogers off of walls.
School system: Here! Have a half day on Friday the 13th! Me: pic.twitter.com/Dy18C8R3dD
Spooking the Kids Without Scarring them for LIFE With Netflix! (and a giveaway!) goo.gl/fb/tkeWgB
I've never felt more in tune with nature than while watching my 8yo barf in the front yard this morning like a wild animal. Such majesty.