After weeks of canceling, rescheduling and frustration- my brother came over this morning to watch the boys so that I could finally go to the OBGYN.
At this point, it wasn’t concerning my boob anymore. If I were still having boob problems and hadn’t gone to the doctor.. I think my poor boob would have rotted and fallen off, or exploded from being abscessed. No, luckily, this appointment was just for birth control purposes.
I’ve mentioned before that I am ridiculously fertile. To the point of it sort of being a detriment to life. Certain wackadoodles have come to this blog and told me to be thankful I can even get pregnant because others can’t- but when your fertility effects your life in that you’re getting pregnant nowhere near any kind of fertility window, it’s sort of the same situation, just reversed.
Since I found out I was pregnant with Parker, I knew I could not allow for another ‘oopsie.’
It had become clear that even though I thought I knew my body, my cycles, when was safe and when wasn’t- it didn’t matter. if my body wants to get pregnant, it will go out of its way to do so. Holden was planned and happened in a month & a half, that is very lucky and very fertile. Parker still can’t logically be explained.
So- as i’ve said before- birth control is the only attractive option.
I’d pretty much already decided on the depo shot because of family history, but I still had to go BACK into the doctor to discuss it with her since she was out on delivery at my 6 week postpartum checkup and I had to see the evil bitch nurse who completely ignored everything I had to say.
Without me even saying anything, she suggested depo because of my previous high blood pressure. Didn’t want anything that would risk it going back to dangerous levels. It was either that, or mireina- and i’d already decided mirena was NOT for me in the slightest.
Before I can even GET the depo shot, though, she wants me to have my period. Three months in, and totally dry down there. Her first question, of course, was if I could be pregnant.
UH NO. Not wanting to risk pregnancy, i’ve stayed away from evil baby making fornication until I know the chances are slim to none.
She gives me a funny look, “No sex at all?”
“Well, we’re going to give you a pregnancy test anyways”
Gee, thanks for believing me!
I even told her, “The last time we had sex was the night I went into labor- I highly doubt that the sperm is hanging on that long!” but still she insisted.
Of course, it came back negative, and now I have to take a pill to GIVE me my period. Whyyyyy!??! I’ve been so damn happy without it! And then, once I GET my period- i’m to call in and make my appointment to get the friggin’ shot, which means trying to arrange for yet another sitter for the boys since they still aren’t allowed in the office since it’s flu season. Blah.
More waiting. More abstinence.
My main concern now is the chance that the depo shot will increase my appetite, making me a huge fatty when i’ve worked so hard to be where I am now and still have a lot of work left to do.. and the chance that i’ll have “breakthough bleeding” for 9 months. I strongly dislike panty liners. It may seem like an uneducated thing to do- but I really don’t want to read the rest of the possible side effects in the offchance that just reading them will give them to me since i’ll already have it in my head that they could happen. Power of suggestion, people! Our brains are mysterious things.
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times