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Treading lightly

By now you’re probably wondering “how much more can I possibly find out about Jenny’s uterus?” and wishing I would change the subject..
but too damn bad! My uterus could take up a months worth of blogs, be thankful it hasn’t!

Currently, uterine happenings are on the forefront of all of my thoughts. Not just because the evil witch has reared her ugly head.. but because right around this time of year is when Captain Uterus down there decides to take the bull by the horns and really throw me through a loop. It just wants to see the look on my face when it says “GOTCHA!” as it’s pulling the rug out from under me.

You see, two out of the last three New Years, I have ended up pregnant.
Holden was literally conceived on New Years Day (sorry Dad/family, shield your eyes!). I know that for sure because I was charting and using ovulation prediction kits.
Parker.. well, is still a mystery for the most part- but considering he was born right around the same time as Holden, he was most likely conceived in the same general time frame.
New Years. Evil, deceptive, drunken New Years.

It’s not like i’m planning on getting my freak on, so to speak, this evening.. or really any time for the next week. Bleeding like a stuck pig isn’t something I find gets me in the mood, if you know what I mean.
Even still, even if I COULD, even if I were tempted- I wouldn’t. I know better. I know what my uterus is thinking, and I refuse to let it get the best of me this time!

To be completely honest, even with my upcoming depo shot- i’m not sure I fully trust that whole 99.9% ratio. I’m one of the girls who’s in the .01% to get freakin’ knocked up and throw the statistics off. I’m not safe! I’m never safe! Even abstinence didn’t save me last time.
Perhaps I should have Thomas sleep on the couch for the next month just to take those extra few precautions. Maybe throw on a steel chastity belt, plaster the bedroom door shut.. or just pull a Lorena Bobbit and get it over with.

Ahem.. what was I saying?
Oh, yeah.. Happy New Year! WRAP IT UP BITCHES!


Posted on December 31, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 3 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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3 Comments

  • Lol You are so damn funny. I really enjoy reading (even though I just found you) But anyways. Way to say what so many of us are thinking!

    I would like to say this though. I personally went for the mirena after my son, and have had no problems and no mishaps. It’s been almost 2 years now.

    However, I don’t believe my uterus has quite the personality yours seems to have. 🙂

  • thanks!

    I know quite a few ladies who have mirena with zero issues- it’s just that ONE (or handful) of negative experiences you hear about from people who’ve gone through it first hand that can taint your view of a certain kind of BC for life!
    Mirena happened to be that one for me.

    I wish I didn’t have to go on BC at ALL.. but condoms feel like sandpaper and pull&pray is way too risky!

  • I can understand. I know of someone that had a very bad experience with a BC method similar to mirena, but for me it was too easy to pass up. I don’t have to ever worrya bout forgetting the pill, plus you only pay for it once and then you’re done for 5 years. It can be removed at any time. But Everybody is different and we all have our preferences. I can easily understand why someone wouldn’t want it. 🙂