Loving without being provoked

No matter how many issues Holden has had since we brought Parker home, one thing that has never wavered is how affectionate he is (minus the first week when he wouldn’t come near me). Always asking for kisses and hugs (which he calls ‘snuggles’), or just giving them out whenever he feels like it- which is very often.

Generally- i’m not a very lovey dovey person. With my kids, of course, but prior to them- not really. Just not how I was raised, so the fact that Holden is the total opposite, always wanting to be loved on is one of my favorite things about him.

I always wondered if the affection he shows towards Parker is completely genuine, or just something he’s learned by watching us since he’s in a phase of wanting to do and say absolutely EVERYTHING we do (including wiping his own ass. Can’t complain about that).
He always gives Parker kissesand snuggles when I ask him to, sometimes he’ll comfort him when he’s crying by saying “it’s okay, honey!” (something he’s heard me say many times)- but lately the way he’s been acting seems less like something he’s learned by watching us, and more like he’s doing it because he actually wants to and really does care for his little brother.

Today for instance, I left Parker who was unusually fussy on his boppy so I could run to the kitchen and make him a bottle only to come back and find Holden snuggled up on the couch next to him with his arm wrapped around Parker smooching his head. Naturally, I was a little worried he was being too rough.. but watching how caring and affectionate he was, trying to calm his brother down brushed all those feelings away. The best part is that it actually did kind of soothe Parker. It happened more than a few times today, where i’d hear Parker crying while trying to get something done only to suddenly hear nothing and to come back and find Holden cuddling him and making him feel better.

To know that even with as ridiculously jealous Holden sometimes gets when Parker is getting attention, that he has such strong love for him makes me a very happy mommy.

I only hope the affection continues when Parker starts becoming mobile and getting into Holden’s toys.
Sibling rivalry is inevitable i’m sure- but i’m holding out hope that they don’t have an awful relationship like my brother and I had. Fighting, hitting and screaming at eachother all the way into our teens- that’s the absolute last thing I want.. so perhaps this is a sign that they’ll have a better relationship than my brother and I did.

Posted on December 15, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment
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