I’d been debating taking the kids to get their picture with Santa since before Parker was born. While it seemed sort of pointless.. and ridiculously expensive- i’d taken Holden for HIS first Christmas- so it only seemed fair to get Parker a picture with Santa on his first Christmas well (still trying to avoid that pesky ‘second child syndrome’).
The problem was the wait time, and the freakin’ PRICES. Always the procrastinator, I once again waited until the last second to make up my mind to take the boys. We waited until the last weekend when Holden was an infant to take him and had to wait something like 2 hours.. and then pay RIDICULOUS sums of money to buy the package (because you have to). you’d think with the prices the pictures would be high quality, right? Wrong! Fuzzy, crappy picture. Cute, sure, but crappy definitely!
This year we’re pretty damn broke.. so as much as I wanted to take the boys to see Santa, it didn’t seem plausible. Plus with the wait, even LESS so. Two kids waiting for 2 hours? Not gonna happen.
Then a friend of mine suggested we go to Bass Pro shop. Guaranteed less than a 30 minute wait, and FREE pictures. I was sold.
After checking the schedule, I decided we’d go Saturday morning (today), and ALL week I got Holden excited about the idea. Telling him we were going to see Santa (who he already knew was the one who’d be bringing him gifts on Christmas morning), and practicing what he’d say until he had it DOWN!
He would say “I’ve been a good boy!” and then when you asked him what he’d wanted it would vary from cars, or a firetruck, to “coloring books, cars, and Lightning McQueen!”
Things seemed as though they would go off without a hitch.
I know that 2 year olds are NOTORIOUS for being incredibly shy and scared of life-sized characters.. but Holden is typically scarily non-shy. Touching strangers, saying hi to random people in the store.. I honestly didn’t think we’d have an issue.
Even as we waited in (the ridiculously short) line, Holden got upset that HE couldn’t go to see Santa first. He kept crying “want Lightning McQueen!!!”, so I thought that once our turn came, all would be well because he’d finally get to tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas.
Well, if you can tell by the serious foreshadowing I just did.. things did not go as I had planned. Once it was our turn, and we told Holden to go sit on Santa’s lap, he froze. We tried to force him closer, he sat on the floor and stared.. we tried to put him in Santa’s lap and that is when he absolutely LOST IT. We’re talking complete and total hysterics. You would think Santa was the antichrist with the reaction this kid had.
Poor Santa. Nicest Santa EVER, and although i’m sure he is used to it, I was mortified.
Santa tried to bribe him with a candycane, and while Holden took it, it still did not entice him to happily go near Santa.
Public humiliation? Check!
I think Holden is scarred for life. I do love that Parker is totally and completely ambivilent. “Meh, me and Santa go way back”
I did get him to smile, but of course, it being a free picture session-they didn’t wait for him to do so before snapping the pictures.
All the time I spent picking out coordinating outfits for the boys, getting Holden amped up and fixing Holden’s seriously effed up cowlick.. and I get the Santa picture that every mommy dreads.. yet can look back on and laugh years later (and embarrass said child with).
Oh well. Maybe next year??
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times