Another clogged boob

Only this time, it’s not MY boob that’s feeling the wrath. Believe it or not- it’s THOMAS.

No, he doesn’t have a vagina- trust me on that one. I have no idea how it happened, nor did I think it was even possible.. but that appears to be what’s going on here.

I’m beginning to think that Holden has the Midas touch, only instead of turning things to gold- he can clog boobs regardless of whether or not they have ever had milk in them, or even gender.

It was after he caught his ear on my boob that the pain and clog seemingly started out of nowhere, and Thomas’ started to hurt the other night when Holden (I think) punched him in the chest while rough housing.

At first, when Thomas told me that that his nipple was killing him I was really only joking and making fun when I told him that he probably had a clog or an infection just like I had (and just FINALLY got rid of the clog. Yes, it took that freaking long).
When the pain didn’t go away, I thought maybe it was an ingrown hair. Those can be incredibly painful, but there was really no sign that it was one of those.
And then the lump formed. And while I was still half joking, of course the first thing I suspected having just gone through it was a clog.

Could it really be? Can MEN get clogged nipples? It seems so absurd! I got a clog and an infection without even having any milk or ever breastfeeding.. but i’m a woman- and have milk ducts, so it at least made some kind of sense when it happened to me.

I gave him the advice I was given and told him to massage the thing out- and was met with a hell of a lot of whining and “I don’t want to!”s. And then he started threatening to squeeze the clog out. The thought alone makes my stomach turn. I know first hand just how bad a clog can and does hurt. I didn’t even want to TOUCH mine, but SQUEEZING IT? Oh hell no! You could not pay me enough.
I warned him, you squeeze that thing- you’ll infect it.. and then you’ll have to get your man boob drained (and most likely subject yourself to ridicule from more people than just me). Is that really something you want to have to go through?
Like anyone with half a brain, the answer was no. So like a good boy, he sucked it up and massaged it and it’s already getting better.

Maybe i’m cruel- but I find it hard to feel bad for the guy. I actually laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, and revel in the fact that now he’s getting a tiny taste of what I went through.

Take care of your boobs people. Be they man boobs or mom boobs or milk-free boobs, don’t count them out! If they choose to get mad at you, you’ll be the one paying for it!

Posted on December 14, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden



  • I loved your article! I am a speaker for ACs for breast cancer (boob-o grams etc) and a friend of your Mum in law. She told me about your great blog. Funny funny stuff and so informative, you have great talent.Destine’ Schaefer

  • wow. And I thought sympathy pain, cravings and such during pregnancy was strange enough.