Surprise of all surprises- today’s appointment went incredibly smoothly.
Of course, I was late because getting two kids ready to go (one of whom likes to dawdle on the potty for as long as humanly possible) takes much longer then one would typically expect or plan for- but that was basically the most interesting part of the entire ordeal.
We got there, signed in- I went to pay my copay and was told we had a “balance of $98” on top of the usual $20 copay- say WHAT? There should be no balance due whatsoever. So she calls whoeever she needs to call to find out what the hell is going on, and they say it was from “before Parker was added to the insurance”
uhh.. say WHAT?
HE WAS JUST BORN. Of course he was JUST ADDED TO THE PLAN. Insurance allows something like 60 days for you to add a newborn, and they back-cover everything. We added him as soon as we possibly could.
This boiled my ass. I didn’t end up having to pay it, she sent the bill back to insurance.. but it’s just so stupid that there was a bill in the first place. I hate our insurance. Constantly messing everything up and charging us for the most inane ridiculous crap ever.
Thank the sweet baby Jesus we’re switcing providers in January.
After that mess, we were called back in under 10 minutes. That’s a record. Last time we waited an hour and a half, only to be called back and wait another half an hour.
This appointment still took a while, but for good reason. Parker had to be weighed and measured (right on track, not a fat baby like Holden just yet)- and then we waited- but again, not for long.
Even when it came time for shots (and the nurses brought my little stinky tylenol since all I had was motrin and somehow I did not know until today that babies under 6 months can NOT have motrin)- it was a pretty quick process. Parker took them like a champ. Yes, he screamed, but was calm as soon as I picked him up. Holden was jealous of his “stickers” (circular baby bandaids).
I even made a stop at the store for baby Tylenol (since we had none and NO WAY was I going to be without, knowing how badly shots can make a baby feel from past experience) without any incident.
It wasn’t until we got home that the day took a sour turn.
Since Parker was happy in his carseat and we were running late for lunch & nap time, I left him in the carseat while Holden and I ate. A couple minutes in I start to smell something… disturbing. I look at Parker, red-face. Great! He’s pooping!
Not that pooping is bad. He doesn’t spit up as much after he’s done his business, and he’s typically just more comfortable.. but the smell while trying to eat was a bit unsettling.
I turned back to Holden, letting Parker finish his business, and then Parker started crying. Oooook, I guess i’ll change you in the middle of lunch if it makes you that uncomfortable.
I turn to look at Parker only to see poop. Everywhere.
Smarty-pants me hadn’t put Parker’s pants back on after shots as to not hurt his legs.. and this gave Parker access to his diaper- which he had blown out with seedy disgusting baby shit- and dug his hand into it and smeared it all over himself. Including his face.
I wanted to laugh and scream and cry all at the same time. Trying to get feces out from under tiny baby nails is not easy, nor is it a fun task. Trying to get a poo soaked onesie over a baby’s head without smearing poo in their hair is also not easy or fun.
50 wipes later, the mess was cleaned up- including the carseat that was filled with liquid shit (I will never feel fully comfortable putting him in that thing again).
I got Holden down for a nap, fed Parker- and he passed OUT. We’re talking OUT. No rocking necessary. Head back, mouth open, dead to the world kind of sleep. Baby Tylenol is awesome.
He was not pleased when he woke up. The down side to shots. They make for a cranky sometimes feverish crying lump of uncomfortable baby mess. And that’s pretty much how he’s been ever since. In between spells of crying, for some reason he gets VERY happy and starts to laugh. Not just ‘half asleep baby laugh’, but really laughing. High off of the tylenol maybe?
This crankiness needs to wear off ASAP, because i’d really appreciate getting some sleep tonight. I can’t count the number of times I dozed off while both Parker and Holden were sleeping today (Parker in my lap). I don’t particularly enjoy jerking my head back up because i’ve drifted so far into the land of Nod that my chin is touching my chest.
Let’s just hope i’m not so unlucky that I have one of those kids who is miserable for DAYS after getting shots. Not my idea of a good time.
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times