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Weird things to think about

Whenever I get a spare moment to think, breathe and reflect- I realize how crazy my life is.

Not crazy in probably anyone else’s definition of the word- but crazy just to me.

I’ll be 26 in January.. now to some that doesn’t seem old, it’s still 20s which is still “young”, but I certainly don’t FEEL 26, and just hearing that age makes me feel decrepit. Especially when I put it together with the fact that I have not one, but two children. Plural. Weird. It’s still weird to think about, as though it hasn’t fully hit me yet. One kid was easy to get used to the idea of, but now I can say things like “My oldest son..” or “my youngest..”
and that is a weird feeling.

Almost 26, have two kids, and my three year wedding anniversary is coming up. Sadly, I have spent the majority of my married time knocked up.. which makes me seem like a baby factory but trust me- the factory is CLOSED.

I think what’s been making me feel so damn old lately is the fact that 11pm rolls around and I literally can not stay awake anymore. Heavy eyelids, long blinks, drool creeping out of the side of my mouth. Too many times i’ve been sitting on the couch, where i’m sitting now, start to feel tired and lean my head back only to open my eyes and have Thomas standing over me with a strange look on his face. I’m half expecting to doze off one night and wake up with permanent marker all over my face.
Yes, i’m an old woman. I’m a mommy of two. I don’t get much sleep. I don’t get time during the day to ever slow down. One kid always needs something. I’m TIRED! So shoot me!

As much as I feel old, I don’t FEEL old. I know, that makes no sense.
I don’t feel like i’m 26, married with two kids.. but then when I think about how I am all of those things- I can feel my back start to hurt and my head start to ache and the wrinkles starting to form and that is when I feel old.

Having kids will not only give you a new fresh breath of life and make you feel alive.. but they will drain the energy right out of you like it is their job (and in a way it is).
I suppose it’s a good thing that I get my hair dyed on a regular basis.. i’m pretty sure there would be grays creeping through right about now.

Posted on November 6, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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2 Comments

  • funny, i was in denial i was a mommy of two for awhile. It didn’t really hit me until J started getting a personality and he wasn’t just a blob i carried around.

  • It must be their job to drain the energy out of us. Makes sense. For the first few years, they are always needing us for something.

    Wow, you know what? I could possibly end up being 26 with two kids as well… Huh. I guess I’m doomed. LOL