Most days I wonder why I even bothered popping this child out- it currently seems to have been a pointless task.. because while he may be OUT of me, he refuses to be OFF of me.
All day long, every single day- I carry him around like he’s another appendage.
I don’t know what is so appealing about being lugged around by me every moment of every day.. but the kid is in complete and utter bliss until the very second I set him down. Instantly, his face crinkles and he lets out the kind of shriek that causes jaw clenching migraines.
By the time Thomas gets home at night, my arms feel like wet noodles. The kid isn’t even that heavy, but when you’re lugging around 11 pounds (ish) of dead weight all day every day, it starts to feel like I spent my whole day in the gym rather than at home desperately trying to keep a baby happy.
Even nap time is not going well. As I mentioned yesterday- I can have that kid so asleep that he’s in my arms with his mouth open, head back and arms limp.. but as soon as his skin is no longer touching mine, he’s wide awake again and usually crying.
Have I tried a sling? Yes, I have.. and I can’t figure that crap out- and he gets pissed off after a little while in a Snugli. He wants my arms, and my arms alone. He has taken them hostage.
He might as well just crawl his unhappy ass back up into my uterus- at least then his screams will be muffled and my arms will be free.
Winning Advice from an 8-year old goo.gl/fb/MmhfYU
Y'know what's awesome? I don't even have to waste time trying new recipes because my kids will tell me they hate it before I start cooking.
@Julieannefiu I still sing WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE. I think they're lying about the "real" lyrics
I sang SO many embarrassingly wrong song lyrics with such confidence. pic.twitter.com/Ww5TaAxY3r
@AndreaPerez0217 Not that I'm biased, but I highly recommend ;) Hope you enjoy!
Parenthood: you think it's gonna be all hugs & booboo kisses, but it's really cooking food everyone hates & scraping boogers off of walls.