That jumbo margarita I had with dinner last night now goes in the books as a colossal bad idea.
After being pregnant for 39 weeks, and not drinking (of course), when you go back to it, your body reacts completely differently. Not only tolerance wise (which is obviously shot in the ass due to a 9 month dry spell), but it even seems the different types of liquor will sit with you differently.
Before Holden, I was a vodka girl- and I was no cheap date. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t exactly call myself a tank by any stretch of the imagination, but I didn’t get fall-down drunk after one drink.
After giving birth, I went back to my good ol’ stand-by.. and it kicked my ass. I think maybe I got two drinks deep before I was slurring speech, falling asleep (and falling over) and spent the remainer of the evening retching up my insides. Never again did I drink vodka.
I moved on to whiskey (which before Holden, made me retch up my insides) and it was kind to me.
After giving birth this time around, I definitely expected things to be wacky again when I wanted to sip on an alcoholic beverage.. and being that I did not want a repeat of re-tasting my food, I took it VERY slow.
Very slow did not work. Two drinks down.. not even a buzz. I was baffled. More than a few weekends I got tired of drinking mixed drinks and just gave up. It was a sad day, whiskey had turned on me just like vodka, only in a different way.
As I mentioned, last night we went out to eat (actually I was so wasted last night that I don’t recall if I mentioned that) and a Jumbo Margarita (tequila) from our fav. Mexican place was calling my name (and had been for months).
Leave it to me to forget how HUGE those damn things are, but like a champ I drank the whole thing.. maybe thinking it wouldn’t effect me that much since whiskey can’t even make me loopy.
I wasnt pukey-drunk, but I could not keep my eyes open. It put me into a tequila-coma and made the room spin. I strongly strongly dislike having vertigo.
All night I really couldn’t even manage to stay awake for Parker’s feedings. Luckily I had Thomas around (who IS kind of a tank) to do those.. and I woke up feeling like a small bus had hit me.
Three tylenols later I was feeling fine, but now at the end of the night.. it’s hitting me again. My head hurts, i’m exhausted, my throat hurts.. and this morning Holden attempted to rip off my nipple with his ear (hard to explain and i’m too tired to try) so my freakin’ boob is bruised, swollen, and incredibly painful.
Basically- I feel like shit. All I want to do is go to sleep.
Drinking on the weekends when you really haven’t slept all week due to a screaming baby and crazy two year old.. and taking care of said children by myself all day has also caught up with me. Put it all together- trainwreck Jenny.
Either that, or I have swine flu. I would doubt the latter if my immune system didn’t suck so bad. We don’t leave the house much and always wipe our hands down with sanitizer, but MAN- i’m feeling so bad I wouldn’t discount it just yet. Blah.
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times