Can NOTHING in my life ever just be… normal?
It seems like everything always has to be a huge production. Something always goes horribly awry.
You’d think I would just expect it by now, but no, always blindsides me- and today was no exception.
As always, everything was going pretty smoothly at first. My friend showed up on time to watch Holden. I planned to take Parker with me and not Holden because the nurses and doctors always want to meet the baby that one of them just delivered.. but there was no way I could handle taking both kids with the way i’ve been feeling lately.
Holden INSTANTLY loved my friend. I have never, ever seen him attach himself to someone like that so quickly. I don’t typically worry about leaving Holden with people anymore because he is a perfect angel for everyone else but me- but it’s always a relief to have him adore the person he is staying with.
I’d just fed Parker, so he would be good to go for the entire length of the appointment (assuming my tit didn’t have to be drained or something else going sour), so we left Holden in good hands and were on our way to the appointment… until we hit God awful construction. AWFUL. One lane open, people trying to merge at the last second.. so it was basically at a dead stop.
Of course, we ended up being a little bit late the the appointment, and I was already irritated because I hate being late.
We walk in, and instantly the receptionist says to me: “You didn’t get a call? You can’t have him (Parker) in here.”
No I didn’t get a call!
“No children are allowed in the office anymore because of H1N1. Do you want to reschedule?”
I was absolutely livid. Not only did I not get a call, but I called YESTERDAY to move up my appointment and no one said anything to me then either.
So I told her, NO, I absolutely do NOT want to reschedule. My boob is infected. If I am not seen NOW it could abscess. She tried to be understanding, I tried not to be an emotional wreck and start crying, and she went back to talk to her office manager.
She came back a few minutes later and said she could have a nurse sit with Parker in the waiting room but he was absolutely not allowed back behind the glass. Fantastic. Not my ideal choice, but I know the nurses are all sweet and love babies, and my boob needed to be looked at- so I had to take what I could get.
First thing we do is have me step on the scale. Of course it says i’m 5 lbs heavier than my scale at home.. which would mean I have 15-20 lbs to lose instead of 10-15. Not pleased at all. This appointment is going downhill fast.
I get to my room, get undressed and into my gown when the nurse comes back in and says that my doctor had to go to the hospital to deliver a baby and that i’ll have to see a nurse instead. Great. While I like the lower on the totem pole nurses- I am not fond of the ones who can do pelvic exams and prescribe medicine. They are harsh and lack senses of humor and compassion.
Lucky me- the one of the two head nurses that I like the least happened to be the one I got stuck with. I start telling her about my boob problem and she seemed confused.
“You’re not breastfeeding, how could it get clogged?”
I DON’T KNOW! LOOK AT IT. There’s definitely something wrong, and shouldn’t you know how these things can happen?
Sure enough, my boob is not only clogged, but is infected as well (mastitis. just like I and all the other moms thought).
And then she says to me “Why didn’t you come in sooner if you’ve been feeling sick since Sunday??”
Oh let’s see.. first I thought I had the flu, and THEN I only felt pain in my boob after Holden caught his ear on it. Not to mention the fact that I have no milk and am not breastfeeding- so why would it even cross my mind that it was a CLOGGED MILK DUCT? Hell, you even JUST asked me how I could have a clogged duct if i’m not breastfeeding- if you didn’t think I had one, and you’re a nurse.. how could you expect me to think I had one?
My dislike for her got stronger.
She then asked me a nonsensical question: “So what do you think Parker’s personality is like?”
Being that he is 6 weeks old, has reflux and screams all the time.. how would I have any idea? So I did what I always do and made a joke: “Oh he’s angry. He hates the world right now”
If my stomach and throat were burning all the time, i’d be pretty angry too- and if not angry, miserable, which I imagine he is…
This did not please her. She went on a tirade. “How could you SAY something like that?? Babies can sense that you know! You’re going to make him hate the world if you think he does!”
whoa whoa WHOA woman! I was JOKING. Chill the fuck out. Way to not take a joke, at all.
I was then at my snapping point.
She starts explaining to me what I need to do to break up the clog in my boob. Warm compresses, massaging, I already knew all of these things but I listened for anything else I needed to know- and this is where my dislike turned to hate. She has the nerve to stop and say to me(even though we were making eye contact) “Are you following?”
No, bitch, i’m just making eye contact and nodding because i’m NOT listening to you. If there is one thing I don’t tolerate- it’s being condescended to.
She is damn lucky she left the room right then to write out my prescriptions because I was about ready to kick her in the throat.
Yes, prescriptions is plural on purpose. Not only am I on an antibiotic for the infection in my boob- but I was also given a prescription for yeast infection.. because the damn antibiotic is going to give me one. AWESOME! I won the boob lottery, people!
If I could just have ONE run of the mill, uneventful OBGYN appointment, i’d be the happiest person on earth. That’ll never happen, though. Something weird ALWAYS has to occur, something ALWAYS has to go wrong.
And did I mention that I have to go back Thursday to have my tit checked on again? Which i’ll have to find a babysitter for since i’m not allowed to take either of them in.
Hopefully this damn clog is cleared up by then because i’m so sick of going to the doctor.. AND I really don’t want this stupid thing to abscess and have to be drained (which she did say could happen, joy!).
Guess i’d better go massage my boob now. Can you tell i’m excited about that?
Just remember: calories don't count today. But just in case... wear stretchy pants. pic.twitter.com/vOCiF0YpEG
Being a parent makes you thankful for some weird shit holdinholden.com/2013/11/what…
My favorite part of Thanksgiving is the part where my kids whine about being hungry all day and then only eat mashed potatoes.
What you REALLY need to make Holiday (or ANY) Travel Bearable goo.gl/fb/1BdFtj
Other moms: I finished Christmas shopping for my kids in June! Me: pic.twitter.com/FT3tlWGWd2
@CJPendragon learn something new every day!
@WeberWriting Absolutely. It takes a bit of time and juggling but it is 100% doable. Just have to ignore the sanctimommies of the world