Being that my mind always goes to the strangest places when I start to analyze how things in my life turned out.. I’ve started to wonder how Parker became the way he is.
When he was first born, i’ll admit, I thought he was weird looking. After staring at Holden’s cuteness for so long, I suppose it was hard for him to add up at first.
Now I find him super adorable, but also i’ve noticed all the little weird things about him that don’t really make any sense to me.
He has 3 birthmarks. Holden didn’t have any. The pediatrician calls them ‘stork bites’- I call them strawberries. Funny looking red marks. One between his eyes (which I had as a baby as well, I think it’s a weird coincidence and nothing more), one on his left eyelid, and a big one on the back of his neck. I had hoped they were just marks from him being yanked out of me, and the cord being wrapped around his neck- but they haven’t gone away. I’ll feel really bad if they don’t eventually fade.
Did I eat something weird during pregnancy to give him so many birthmarks?
He also has a frinkly eye (aka: lazy eye). Half of the pictures I take of him i’m too embarrassed to post because his right eye is never looking the same way as his left. I think it’s called being “fish eyed”
I know it’s because the muscles in his eyes just aren’t strong enough yet, and he can hardly focus on anything being a newborn and all.. but it totally freaks me out.
Was it because I didn’t know I was pregnant for so long and was smoking and occasionally drinking during that time?
Parker also has what looks like a second butthole. Only it’s not a hole, just a dimple above the actual hole. The pediatrician pointed it out to me and told me I needed to make sure to keep it clean because things were going to get ‘trapped’ in there, ew. I never thought it was anything weird.. I swear i’ve seen one somewhere before. Maybe me? I don’t know, I don’t feel my crack all that often. Thomas says Holden had/has one.. but I don’t recall.
The only weird thing about Holden now (because I honestly can’t remember if there were any weird things about him as an infant that have gone away now that he’s older) is that he has inverted nipples. Just little slits where the nip should poke out. Certainly didn’t get that from me! I expected Parker’s to be the same, but nope, he has puffy little baby nipples.
I’m learning to love the birth marks I suppose, especially since the one in the center of his forehead matches the one I used to have (it turns purple when he gets mad, just like mine did).. but I don’t think i’ll ever love the ass-crack dimple or the frinkly eye. I’m just going to hope and pray that those go away. Sooner rather than later. I’m already tired of cleaning funky stinky baby poop out of that weird little thing and wondering where Parker is actually looking.
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times