My thinking that the worst part of today’s appointment would be the anal swab was WAY off. That part was actually not as painless as I remember it being. Well, it was painless, but last time I didn’t even feel the doctor or nurse doing it, this time she made damn sure I felt what she was doing. I’m not a fan of butt-play, so this was a new and yucky feeling to me.
Then was the cervix check. Of course, if I had bet money on my cervix being closed up tighter than Fort Knox, I would have come out victorious- because there was no dilation whatsoever.
In a way it’s relieving to hear because I don’t want to pop this kid out any earlier than October.. but on the other hand it’s frustrating. All these painful braxton hicks, all the yucky feelings and back pain and pressure.. and none of them are doing anything. How much worse is it going to get?? The only relief was that she told me he is head down.
I know it could technically mean nothing. Some ladies are closed up tight and then BAM, labor the next day.. so we’ll see what happens. Just deepens my absolute hatred for braxton hicks contractions.
After that we listened to baby’s heart rate on the fetal doppler. This was where things went south. His heart rate has always sounded/been low to me, but within the normal range. Holden was always WAY up in the high range. Today, though, it alarmed the nurse and she said I would have to sit down and be monitored for a while.
I do not have fond memories of Non-Stress-Tests (NST). With Holden I had them twice a week every week, but that was because of blood pressure.
At first I wasn’t really all that concerned because I know how active this kid is and have never had issues with him not being responsive. The biggest worry was how Holden was going to sit in that small room without tearing it completely apart. The nurse said “well, there’s a TV so he should be fine”
She doesn’t know Holden. TV doesn’t interest him all that much, especially not when I want it to.
Again, mommy instincts were right. He barely even glanced at the TV once I was hooked up. Instead he wanted to play with the machine monitoring me, wanted to leave the room, wanted to climb in the chair and try to bodyslam me. Still, those are all things I can at least manage to deal with, even if I have to sit stationary.
Meanwhile, the scan is not looking good. Baby’s heart rate was in the 120s and dipping down to the 90s during braxton hicks contractions. I had a friend who was just made to have her baby early for that reason alone. And 90 is VERY VERY low for a baby. I would have started panicking if it weren’t for Holden being a total hellion and then asking to pee.
What could I do? I couldn’t move.. and i’m pretty sure the nurse wouldn’t take lightly to me pulling off my monitors and taking him so I begged him to hold it. About 10 minutes pass of him repeatedly asking me and she finally comes back in the room and I tell her that he absolutely HAS to go to the bathroom and someone needs to take him (hint hint, ME). She says something along the lines of how she has ‘no experience’ doing that and starts asking around for someone ELSE to take him.. even though she was re-adjusting my straps and could have easily let me go and then sit back down and start again after he was done.
Once she realized no one else was going to and I was serious that he was going to piss his pants if she didn’t take him, she obliged.
Only a few minutes went by and she brought him back and told me he hadn’t gone. Say WHAT?! I’m pretty sure it’s because she probably let him teeter up there on that huge industrial toilet and didn’t support him under his butt ao he felt comfortable enough to release. She leaves the room again, and that’s when Holden started to SCREAM that he had to pee. Again, I begged him to hold it, but after a few minutes of me trying to get myself out of the leather chair that basically swallows you once you sit in it- he pissed himself. All down the front and back of his pants.
This was when I got ANGRY. So angry that it made baby’s heart rate suddenly perk up into the 140s-150s and he became VERY active. I sat there stewing for a few minutes before I decided they could all kiss my ass and yanked the monitors off and took him to the bathroom myself. He peed twice in the potty.
We returned to the room and waited for the NST lady to come back. She must have known I was beyond pissed because she took the results we had gathered so far over to the doctor to see if I could leave or not. I could hear her talking about how low the heart rate was, but the person she was talking to insisted it was fine because baby was “responsive” so we were allowed to leave. An hour late for lunch, both starving, both upset, and now both covered in piss because it was pouring rain outside and I couldn’t let Holden walk in that and risk him running into the street in the rain. Not like he wasn’t already wet, though. Ugh.
This was definitely not how I expected today to go at ALL. And now all I can think about is having the same damn thing happen at the next appointment, and how I will literally tear someone’s head off if Holden pisses his pants because of someone ELSE’s eff-up.
I’m so done with being pregnant and all the crap that comes along with it! Why can’t it just be easy??
You wouldn't sniff a stranger's butt to see who pooped their pants.... so you probably shouldn't do these other parental things to strangers, either. holdinholden.com/2017/12/weir…
Weird Things you do for your kids but not Strangers goo.gl/fb/oVuwvG
Tis the season! pic.twitter.com/5VgMLnt22E
I am weak pic.twitter.com/LYdRQ6EZcC
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.