Way to try and burn the house down, preggo.

If there is one thing I am ready to get back- it’s my brain. As the days pass, my ability to think clearly and process a single cognitive thought has gotten worse and worse.

Ever tried having a conversation with someone who just trails off at the end of a sentence because they just can’t remember where they were going with it? That’s me, every day, every thought. This makes completing, and even remembering the simplest of tasks nearly impossible. I pick up the phone to make a call and suddenly can’t remember what I was even calling for (i’m not a phone person, and I don’t typically just call to chat). Go to the store, and forget the main thing I went there for until hours later. It even happens with this blog, I know I had something else to write about tonight.. but what that was? No idea.

It’s frustrating to say the least- and while there are plenty of people who are perfectly fine with being mindless sacks of crap every day, I am not one of those people.
Not to say that i’m the smartest person in the world, but I often wonder if really stupid women turn into super geniuses when they get knocked up.

Today marks the day of what I think has to be my biggest preggo brainfart of all times.

We brew our sweet tea at home here- maybe it’s a southern thing? Who cares, it’s yummy, and more importantly it’s CHEAP. I have mastered the art of making the perfect sweet tea. Sure, there have been times where i’ve left it steeping too long, or not added quite enough sugar (and sometimes too much), but it usually still turns out really tasty.
It’s not like brewing sweet tea is hard, strenuous, or anything like that- it just has a lot of steps that require you to remember what you’re doing while you’re doing it. Not a good task to give someone whose brain is on a 9 month hiatus.

There I am, sitting at the computer, piddling away because at that time I didn’t think I had anything better to be doing when I smell what I think is gas. Sometimes, the house randomly starts smelling like our oven since i’ve been using it so much to make goodies during this pregnancy- but this smell was strong.. as if something were… cooking.


I left the tea on the stove! BOILING. FOR 45 MINUTES!

I jump out of the computer chair as fast as my fat ass will let me and go waddle-hopping into the kitchen and quickly turn the burner off.
I had filled the pot almost all the way up (because that’s what you’re supposed to do) in the beginning.. but i’d left this bitch boiling for so long that over half of the liquid had completely evaporated. I wonder what would have happened if I didn’t have super-preggo nose and didn’t smell the faint smell of gas. If ALL the liquid had evaporated, would the tea bags just have burnt up to a crisp, or would I have succeeded in burning my house down?

If you think I dumped that tea out and started over… you’re wrong. A good preggo is a lazy preggo, so I just dumped it into the pitcher and added more water.
Did I taste test it? Nope. I let Thomas do that when he got home. Some may call that mean or cruel, because what if it tasted like a bag of smashed up assholes? I call it pure awesome.
Somehow, I managed to NOT ruin it. Go fig.

Still, i’d prefer things like that to not happen anymore. I’d like to be able to have a rational thought, or carry on a normal conversation with another adult without confusing both them and myself at the same time by talking in circles. I just hope my brain decides to come back to me this time.. it’s possible that it’s pissed off at me for forcing it to go on unpaid vacation with no notice, and to spite me, has found somewhere else to call home.

Posted on September 14, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 3 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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  • It didn’t taste bad. It was a little, bitter (?), I guess, but that’s because there was concentrated tea water.

    I think that the tea bags would have probably started to smoke once all the water was gone. Man, that would have smelled terrible. :oP

    Good things preggo nose works. 😀

  • I’m still having brain farts from having close pregnancies. This last pregnancy was really bad toward the end. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t drive because I would forget I was driving. i couldn’t cook because I would forget I was cooking like you did. soooo frustrating. It’s slowly coming back. and yours will too eventually.

  • I just want 15 minutes of being a mindless sack. I don’t feel like I even get that per day. I always feel like something needs to be done!

    And no, making sweet tea ISN’T hard. I’ll be damned if I just can’t do it though. I’m a horrible southerner. It never turns out right for me, no matter what I do. Honest!!