Single digits and what could be my last day as a mommy of 1

I’m finding it incredibly hard to believe that there are only 9 days until my due date (technically 8 now that today is practically over) and sooner rather than later I will have two small children in this house to take care of. Most of me is still in a state of denial about the whole thing. I don’t think that it’s STILL fully hit me that i’m THISCLOSE to bringing another baby into this world. I’m not sure it will actually hit me until i’m lying in that hospital bed ready to push- that’s when the overwhelming feeling hit me with Holden.. and why all of my pictures after his birth look like my face is melting because I spent basically the whole time crying. Just couldn’t believe it.

Tomorrow is the appointment that has been a black cloud over my head for the past week. Induction? No induction? I have no idea what’s going to happen when I step foot into that exam room. There are a few things that could get me sent over to L&D to pop this kid out tomorrow. If there’s protein in my urine, i’m pretty sure there’s no skating out of an induction. And while i’d be disappointed, I realize how serious that could be so i’d have to accept my fate and deal with it. High blood pressure is another thing my doctors just aren’t taking lightly this time around due to my history from my last pregnancy. I could try and argue, and if my blood pressure is elevated i’m definitely going to try my damndest to at LEAST barter by having them strip my membranes and if that doesn’t work, THEN agree to an induction in a few days and see if they’ll agree to that. I don’t want to put baby’s health at risk, but I also don’t want to be induced.

One thing I haven’t even really considered happening is that somehow i’ll have dilated to a 4 and around these parts, a 4 means you get sent to the hospital and stuck on a pitocin drip. I’m highly doubting that will happen- I just don’t think this kid is going anywhere in the next few days.. but I suppose anything could happen. I’ve been shocked by this pregnancy way too many times to count before so I really can’t count on anything to happen or not to happen at this point. I think my jaw would hit the floor if they told me I was that dilated though. I never had a 39 week appointment with Holden, so I have nothing to base any kind of educated guess on.

I’m just hoping that for ONCE, things go my way and my blood pressure will be fine and i’ll be able to convince the nurse to strip my membranes to help coax this kid out of me naturally and be sent home to wait for things to get moving. I’m still really hoping for an October baby.. and I don’t think i’ll be going into labor tonight or get moving so quickly tomorrow that he makes an arrival before midnight of the 1st rolls around… but again, you never know!

Cross your fingers for me.. and maybe some toes too. Tonight might very well be my last night at home as a mommy of 1.

Posted on September 29, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 1 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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1 Comment

  • I was in denial that I had two babies even after I had pushed him out. I kept forgetting to change is diapers. They’d ask me if I changed his diaper and I kept lying that I did because I felt so dumb that I had forgotten.

    crossing fingers that you don’t get induced and that he waits till october!