One of the many things that comes along with being pregnant is the blessing (or curse, however you choose to look at it) of incredibly vivid dreams. Vivid, crazy, no-sense making dreams.
I have to say that I am not a fan, not a fan at all. My dreams are weird enough without the help of pregnancy hormones to weird me out on a regular basis.
During my pregnancy with Holden I had all kinds of weird baby dreams. Ones where I gave birth to twins, one that was normal, and one that could fit in the palm of my hand and was Hispanic. Why Hispanic? I have no idea. Then there were the dreams where baby would morph from one gender to the other- essentially making my ‘mommy intuition’ when it comes to guessing the gender null and void. There were also TONS of dreams that had my mom in them. Up until that point, i’d never had a dream about her- and after popping Holden out the dreams with her in them stopped.
This time around, i’m getting dreams containing my mom again- but no baby dreams. Not a single one. Most of my ventures in dream world lately have been nothing short of strange and incredibly realistic. And a hell of a lot more nightmares than usual too. Nightmares are never fun when you’re waking up with your heart racing in a pool of your own sweat, but still- i’m a big girl, I deal with them.
Until last night anyways. The regular run-of-the-mill spider infested nightmare turned to Doom & Gloom death and destruction nightmares, back to back.
The first one was family members of mine trying to kill my unborn child. How’s that for unpleasant? First it was my grandfather, who is still living.. and then it was my mom trying to crush my stomach. Incredibly unsettling.
Needless to say I was happy when I woke up from that dream, got up and took a pee and fell back asleep only to have a dream where I was in New York City and someone was blowing up all of the buildings around me. I had Holden with me.. who of course- was begging to go pee the whole time. That dream didn’t last long, but it was long enough to make it so I didn’t really want to fall back asleep after waking up in fear of what was next.
After talking to some friends, they said it was probably just my mind freaking out about the huge life change that’s coming my way.. but I still can’t shake that first dream of my family trying to kill my child.
Of course, my mind goes straight to the crazy and jokingly i’ve been thinking.. I should just name him Damian and get it over with because apparently someone is trying to tell me he’s the anti-christ. His conception in general is still baffling at best.
This kid needs to pop out so I can stop all the crazy thoughts and go back to my nightmares of tornadoes and spiders. I’ll take those over death & destruction any day.
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