For some reason, I always dread taking Holden to the doctor. There’s always a concern they’ll tell you there’s something wrong, that your little one is behind in something or another, that you’re not doing enough as a parent.. and then there’s the dreaded booster shots. Never a fun time.
Today Holden had his big 2 year appointment. The older they get the less often they see the doctor unless they get sick in between, so it had been a while since we’ve gone in. Typically I know i’m going to spend a LONG time in the waiting room, and a LONG time in the exam room just waiting around to be called. Knowing how Holden is once he gets in public and the fact that he never ever holds still, I knew it was going to be a task to take him by myself without really over-exerting myself.
Luckily, I had plans with a friend today anyways (who does not have kids, and I think generally doesn’t really even like kids), so my pregnant ass managed to con him into coming with my to the appointment to help wrangle Holden and keep him from beating the crap out of the other kids waiting for their appointments. For someone who isn’t a kid person- he did REALLY well keeping Holden out of trouble while I was signing paperwork and all that fancy crap. It cracked both of us up to see people looking at us wondering if we were together, and how is Holden such a pale white child with a black daddy? You know how people like to gossip and whisper. I hadn’t even thought about it much, but my friend thought it was hilarious. Especially since my fingers are too fat to wear my wedding rings- the worst can always be assumed. Let’em wonder!
I always get this huge sense of ‘mommy bragging’ pride when I see kids a HELL of a lot older than Holden still in diapers and Holden is wearing boxer briefs. It was a sign I had at least done SOMETHING right if everything else happened to go wrong once the pediatrician checked him out.
I wasn’t surprised when Holden got weighed and measured and was above the 90th percentile for absolutely everything. He’s just never going to be a small person. Fat? No. I don’t think he’s fat, just a big kid in general. The pediatrician used the word “solid”, I think i’ll stick with that. It sounds better than big, huge, chunky, large.. whatever term you can think of to describe a child that’s a good 3-4 inches taller and 5+ pounds heavier than other kids his age.
The nurse who was taking all of his measurements rubbed me the wrong way. I realize they have this weird ass checklist of things to ask.. but I swear to god they are the most random questions ever. Things I would never think about on a normal basis so when i’m put on the spot I completely blank.
“Does he jump up and down?”
“Does he change his own clothes?”
“Does he throw and kick a ball?”
What kinds of questions ARE these? And why do ANY of those things matter?? Does he jump up and down? Fuck, I guess? It’s not like i’m encouraging him to jump around the house all day every day- it’s not like it’s a favorite pasttime of his.
I turn to Holden, and say, “Holden, jump!” and he does. There. Question answered. Happy?
Does he change his own clothes? What the eff? What 2 year old can change their own clothes? Holden has never been the type to want to strip down naked and run around the house. Again, it’s not one of his favorite pasttimes, he has better things to do. Does he know his shirt goes over his head? Yeah. Does he know he needs to put one leg in each pant hole? Yeah.
Throwing and kicking a ball? Why does that MATTER?! Is that really a good gauge of how they’re progressing? Holden has thrown shit since he could play with toys, mostly AT me. As far as kicking a ball, I have no freaking idea. I’m sure he can. I just don’t pay attention to stupid crap like that. It doesn’t help that i’ve been instructed by my OBGYN to NOT do anything that would require my legs to make a ‘scissor motion’, so it isn’t as though I can play kick with him.
She might as well have been asking me if he could recite the alphabet backwards, or stand on one foot and touch his nose. Those would have been equally as ridiculous to me.
Shockingly, we didn’t wait long at ALL for the doctor to come in to see Holden. Much relief to me, but how much do you want to bet that if i’d been alone i’d have been waiting for a freaking hour? Story of my life.
Mega-relief, she was incredibly impressed by Holden’s development. Another proud mommy moment. She didn’t tell me to do differently, no concerns, nothing.
And then came the ‘shot talk.’
I am an immunizer, i’ll put that out there. I don’t believe in not immunizing your kid. It’s a hot debate topic, so I won’t go into why or what I believe is right and wrong or any of that mess.. However, I do think giving a kid a billion shots at once seems like overkill. I don’t do flu shots, i’m not sure how I feel about the chicken pox vaccine (we didn’t have that crap when WE were kids, what’s wrong with getting the chicken pox?? I thought you were SUPPOSED to in order to become immune to it? Confusing).
Another mega-debate.. the MMR. Kids around here are supposed to get it at 18 months old. I read up on all the arguments that it’s linked to autism and all of that crap- and I don’t buy into any of that. HOWEVER, in case I happened to be wrong, I had decided a LONG time ago to put it off. I wasn’t sure for how long, in Virginia your child has to be up to date on all vaccines before entering public school, so I figured I had a while to wait. I wanted to make sure Holden’s speech and comprehension was advanced enough for me to feel comfortable with him getting it, so just in case something were to go wrong he wouldn’t have NO comprehension skills to fall back on.
I don’t know why, or what happened in my mind, but I go ahead and let them give him the shot today (they also wanted to give him the chicken pox vaccine AND a flu shot, which did not fly with me. If it were a swine flu shot, sure, but regular flu shot? I’ll pass.)
I’m feeling iffy about the whole thing- but so far he’s still completely normal. No regressing, no fever, no changes. When is this big change supposed to happen after the MMR to give them autism? I just don’t see it. I guess i’m an instant gratification type of person, if it doesn’t happen right away.. it doesn’t work for me. I like proof. Fast proof.
Of course, if he wakes up tomorrow a different kid i’ll be kicking myself in the ass.. but i’m going to hope and pray that doesn’t happen.
All in all I think it was a pretty successful appointment. My solid kid is healthy, happy and smart. That’s what matters to me, so we’re good to go.
And soon I get to start all of this crap over again with a NEW kid to worry about- yay!
I've never had a near death experience, but I DID find 2 spiders in my house this morning, and that's pretty much the same thing.
If you like to be constantly criticized over your peanut butter to jelly ratio on sandwiches, being a parent is definitely for you.
It's called "Mom Tax" and it applies to ALL SWEETS OBTAINED BY CHILDREN pic.twitter.com/VExGwIOdBn
Live now on Twitch! Come hang out! twitch.tv/holdinholden
How I Unwind the Kids During Summertime goo.gl/fb/bqcdoV
Kid: When do I get the tablet back? Me: Thursday aftern--- Kid: *Yelling* I'LL NEVER GET IT BACK! Me: Okay, I guess never, then. #kidlogic
Being an adult is stupid. pic.twitter.com/ghkAP7UbIt
Me watching #AmericanNinjaWarrior: HAHA weak ass grip strength! Also me: Can't open a pickle jar.