No matter where you are in pregnancy, how far along you are, how large or small your girth may be.. the power your belly has to get in your way should never be underestimated- not even for one second. As soon as you think you have it under control.. it pops up to surprise you.
It’s sort of like never knowing how much you use a finger until you break it and can’t do a damn thing without it.
I don’t remember having a lot of issues with my belly getting in the way of things other than my ability to bend over with Holden, but then again.. a lot of my pregnancy with Holden other than the last miserable months is a big fat blur. There was never any ‘getting used to’ your new (or non existent) center of gravity, especially when you consider that it’s always growing and changing and getting heavier. Hell, even the new big boobs get in the way.
Today showed me that I am definitely not being careful enough when it comes to my large size and just how much space I take up in small areas.
Sitting at a table? Better make sure your chair is far enough out and there’s no one at a table behind you, or your belly will scrape the table.. and if you’ve had a belly full of baby, you know that’s not a comfortable feeling.
It’s also a hell of a lot easier to feel claustrophobic. Large crowds of people freak me out, always worrying about people bumping into me or vice versa. Elevators? Better not be a crowded one or you’ll be making unwanted friends with the people around you really quickly.
The worst? Bathroom stalls. Heed my advice and ALWAYS go for the handicap stall if it’s available.
I made the mistake of occupying a regular (tiny) stall today while running errands (and of course, I seem to not be able to go without peeing for more than 45 minutes anymore) and it turned out to be a very very painful mistake.
Everything was fine until I tried to get OUT of the stall. Had I not been pregnant, this would not have been an issue- but that damn door swing open with a lot more force than i’d expected and what pray tell did it hit?
Yep. The belly.
But not just the door, the latch to lock it caught my skin and scraped all the way across until it hit my bellybutton jewelery, where it proceeded to catch and YANK. Am I a glutton for punishment for keeping any kind of jewelery in my navel? Perhaps, but I NEVER had issues catching it on things with Holden.. yet another example of underestimating my size this time around.
Let me tell you.. that was some horrible nasty God-awful pain, and the mark it left isn’t so fantastic either. The lady in the stall next to me (and the only other person in the bathroom) must have thought I was going into labor with the huge gasp and chorus of “oh my god!”s and “OW!”s that followed.
Now i’ve got a lovely looking dark red scrape across half of my big ol’ belly and what looks like busted blood vessels over top of the navel jewelery. Not to mention it’s painful to touch.. and now that it’s hurt it’s decided to touch everything it possibly can.
From now on.. i’m going to be more careful than is humanly necessary with my burgeoning belly to hopefully avoid ANYTHING like that ever happening again. The thought of how the jewelery could have easily been torn out had I moved the wrong way is enough to secure my extreme caution for the remainder of my pregnancy.
I suggest all you preggos do the same! You are bigger than you think, remember that! See that small space? You ain’t squeezin’ through that, don’t even try. Take the long way around, you’ll thank me later.
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times