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Light at the end of the tunnel?

One of my HUGE goals before popping out a new demon spawn has been to get Holden the hell OUT of diapers. My plight has been well documented here on this blog.
There have been so many ups and downs, always seems to be one step forward and two steps back. As soon as I start to feel like we’re really getting somewhere Holden decides he wants to piss himself five times in a row. I haven’t wanted to push TOO hard, because from everything i’ve read that is one of the worst things you can do while potty training.. but I won’t lie- I am not a patient person by any means. When I want something done, I want it done- right then! I don’t like waiting. Kids don’t work that way. They do things on their own terms regardless of what you want- probably one of the most frustrating things about having children in general.

Now that time is really ticking down quickly, and technically it could be anywhere from days to weeks when I go into labor- potty training has been on the forefront of everything i’m thinking about.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to go as far as to stick Holden in underwear completely and just say ‘screw the diapers!’ because from experience, he couldn’t give a shit less whether he’s wet or not.

The one book i’ve actually taken to heart when it comes to potty training is called “Diaper Free Baby” and it has to do with elimination communication.. which means KNOWING when your child is going to go, and taking them to the potty at those specific times.
That’s never worked with pee for us.. Holden has to have the WEIRDEST bladder on the face of the earth. He can take a massive piss in the potty, and then wet himself only 5 minutes later, and STILL go again when I take him back to the potty. I did, however, start to notice a pattern in his poops.. and poops has been our biggest problem because he just has NOT started initiating going to the bathroom when he has to crap like he has when he pees (which is only occasionally).

In the past few days we have made some seriously insane progress in the potty area, at least in my opinion. We’re down to ONE diaper a day, and the rest of the day in boxer briefs.

Yesterday, since I knew exactly when Holden was going to poop (as soon as I take him off the potty after breakfast.. the little turd.) I decided he wasn’t getting off of the damn thing until he went. The thing about Holden is that he seems to have stage fright when it comes to poop. He just won’t do it if i’m looking at him or sitting near him like I usually do when he’s on the potty.
So what’d I do? I turned my back to him, groomed myself in the mirror a little bit.. and after a few times of trying to get up, I finally heard what was music to my ears: grunting.

Sure enough, the kid took an adult sized shit in the potty. The thing was HUGE. No, I am not one of those parents who takes pictures and posts them for everyone to see, i’m sure you can imagine on your own (or opt out of imagining and take my word for it). I’m not sure if he was proud of himself, but I certainly made a big deal and gave him a handful of treats (aka: reeses puffs cereal pieces).
After that feat, I was pretty damn proud. He took a tiny tinkle in his diaper after that.. which I was not pleased about, but it’s better than a HUGE piss.. so I decided just to go with it and put him in underwear.
Things were going swimmingly until somewhere between potty times he massively peed his pants. HUGE. Somehow I didn’t notice, and he didn’t seem to notice or care either.. but the front and back of the boxer briefs were soaked, as were his shorts.
No accidents after that.

I chalked the day up as a pretty decent success and repeated the same process today. Another poop in the potty, NO pee in the diaper, and NO accidents in his underwear- and here we are now.

Is this it? Is my kid finally going to be potty trained after 10 LONG months of trying??
I don’t want to get my hopes up- but i’m starting to feel like there is finally an end in sight. And i’ve knocked on wood multiple times today as to not jinx my damn self.

My question is.. how in the world do you know if your kid IS in fact potty trained? What is the one key indicator? Not being in diapers anymore? They could still pee themselves multiple times a day so I can’t see it being that..
Initiating having to go to the bathroom EVERY time? We’re certainly not there, I still take him every 25 minutes, and before & after meals, and before & after he goes to sleep.
So what is being potty trained, technically? No, really, i’m asking! Is it one of those things where it’s all about interpretation?
I don’t want to be running around exclaiming that my kid is potty trained when he isn’t, then i’d just look stupid.. and i’m not a fan of looking stupid. If i’m going to be an obnoxious “look what my crotch fruit can do!” baby-bragger, I at least want what i’m bragging about to be FACT.

Posted on August 6, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 3 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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3 Comments

  • wish i could help yah. pretty jealous to be honest. I would have started potty training awhile ago but i’ve been reading that if you try and potty train a kid that’s really not ready and push too far it makes things a lot worse. So since M cried whenever we sit on the potty I’m leaving it for now.

  • I think they’re always going to cry in the beginning because they just don’t understand why they have to sit there. Must feel sort of like time out. I take a lot of books.. but now he’s limited to ONE per potty time or he’ll literally sit there for 30 minutes making me read to him.

    May have spoken too soon though, already wet a diaper today.. and he’s MASSIVELY peeing in the potty. WHERE is this liquid coming from???

  • It’s all pretty subjective for the most part. Holden has a very weird potty schedule. You are right, he could literally pee every 5 minutes if he wanted too. He must have hyperhydrosis. I have never seen a person so full of liquid that comes from nowhere.

    I guess you could say that a fully potty trained child would let you know that he is going to go to the bathroom before he does it. Holden sporadically will let us know.