Denial is not just a river in Egypt

In a little over a month, my squishy wormy turdy little baby will turn two years old. I think that officially means that he will no longer be considered a baby and will officially be a toddler.. or, GASP, a KID in the world’s eyes (although some may say that babies become toddlers when they start walking.. some kids start walking before they’re 1.. still a baby to me!)

I’m not a sentimental person, not really.. at least not when I see how sappy other people get about random items in their homes and birthday cards- but knowing that my baby is literally not a baby anymore and soon enough he’ll be arguing with me and going off to school is NOT something i’m ready for!

I haven’t had time to prepare myself mentally. I haven’t really even had time to think about his birthday with all the preparations for his little brother to come into the world.
The baby shower is next weekend, and most of my time has been consumed by the fact that the art of RSVPing is a dying tradition- and how much that bothers me. Getting people to tell me whether or not they are coming is seriously like pulling teeth. Even when I e-mail, call or text message.. half the time no one responds.
If you can’t come just say so!!!

See, i’m already getting off track.. it seems physically impossible to concentrate on the scary fact that Holden is growing up so quickly.
Some days it feels like he’s so much older than he is.. just because, well, to be sappy and sentimental about it- life before him seemed pretty damn pointless and wasteful. Other days it doesn’t feel like it’s been two years at ALL and I wonder where the time went and how it could escape me so quickly. Did I cherish the time he was a baby enough? Did I take enough pictures? Am I forcing him to grow up too fast because his little brother will be here before we know it?

BLAH! Let’s get rid of that feeling.
I’m perfectly content being in denial, and for now being one of those moms who will always call her kids her babies..
Although, I do hope that changes a couple of years down the road because I don’t want either of my boys thinking it’s acceptable to be the ‘I’m 30 and still live at home because I can’t POSSIBLY be without my Mommy and my spiderman PJs and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with the crust cut off!’

Posted on August 1, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 1 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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1 Comment

  • LOL!

    I am pretty sure that with how well we seems to have our heads on, we won’t be seeing thirty year-old man in our house. We will tell his happy ass to get-a packing!!!

    It is crazy though. To think that Holden will be 2 soon.