All the wood-knocking in the world did not save me from the sad horrible fate of jinxing myself after last night’s post.
I had this sinking feeling it would happen, but had held out hope that maybe for once luck was on my side and things would go my way today with potty training.
We started out good, with Holden initiating going “pee! pee!” all on his own more than he has in months.. but then during breakfast he decided it would be a good idea to piss his diaper. Again, how this child can carry so much liquid in his bladder after taking HUGE pees in the potty time after time and drinking no liquid is completely beyond me.
Still, I try not to consider one accident a total fail for the day, it’s better than peeing his diaper over and over and not in the potty at all.
Right before I put Holden down for a nap, my friend Jen said she’d be on her way over in a little bit to drop off some delicious baked goods and a gift for the baby shower since she can’t make it tomorrow. I knew i’d have to shake up our routine a bit and get Holden to sleep and then leave him to his own devices. Usually, I nap along with him- preggos get damn tired!
While she was here, I mentioned a few times that I worried he’d wake up, get confused, and piss the bed (my bed, not his).. since usually i’m right there to hurry him to the bathroom. His pees after nap time are ginormous. Two inches deep in the little potty.. and for those who don’t know- yes that’s a LOT of pee!
Perhaps even saying that aloud is what did me in.. not so sure.
He was napping so well on his own, it seemed like a good sign for things to come. I know soon enough i’m going to have to stop getting him to sleep altogether and leave him in his room but I just haven’t wanted to make that big switch yet. Not sleeping with him is an easy first step to that.
Jen left, and soon after, Holden woke up. Only… I didn’t know he woke up.
The door to the bedroom swung open, and there was a droopy eyed Holden, grabbing at his soaking wet crotch.
At least he knew he peed, right? That’s something, isn’t it??
Sadly, that didn’t make up for just how much this kid pissed before leaving the bedroom. Not only did he completely soak his underwear and shorts (so much so that they left a wet trail on the bathroom floor), but he pissed through the comforter, through the sheets, and to the mattress.
I honestly couldn’t be mad at him for it, i’m sure he woke up thinking I would be there to usher him off of the bed before he could piss, and instead I was nowhere to be found- but the TV was still on so he probably sat there and watched for a good 5 minutes, all the while, pissing all over everything.
That’s what I get for talking about how good he’s been doing the past week. Potty training should only be spoken of in hushed reverant tones.. maybe not at all. Maybe if I pretend he’s doing horribly, he’ll get potty trained with no problem.
The rest of the day went much better, no more accidents- even while out shopping for things for the shower.. and I was definitely worried he’d piss himself in public and there would be nothing I could do because I generally don’t drag around the baby bag anymore. The massive bed-wet must have been punishment enough.
Jinxing exists, people! Do not take it lightly or it will come back to bite you in the ass.. or cover your bed in urine.
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times