The post of unnecessary baby crap

Baby items are so enticing. New fangled, shiny fancy neat looking trinkets you could fill your house to the brim with everywhere you go. Rattles, monitors, warmers, heaters, support for sleeping, fancy blankets & burp cloths- it’s unreal the massive amount of random crap you can find to empty your pockets on.

It’s especially tempting to add all of these things to your registry (if you happen to have one) because then, ha-HA, you’re not the one who has to buy them!

While these sparkly colorful things may be appealing.. calling out to you: ‘buy me! your baby needs me!’.. for the most part, you don’t. You don’t at all! And your money, or the money of your friends could be much better spent elsewhere.
Hell, some people may even tell you some of these over priced gadgets are “must haves”.. they are wrong, and you should kick them in the throat.

Wipes Warmers? Really? You really need to buy some stupid gadget to warm up a wipe before it touches your little precious’ ass? They’ll get over having a cold one. Not to mention those warmers dry wipes out like THAT is their primary job… and there’s nothing worse than a dry wipe that just moves baby shit AROUND the cheeks and not OFF of them.

Diaper Genies/Pails/Pals/what-the-hell-evers? You don’t need them. Throw the shit diapers in your trash can, and take your stupid trash out when it gets full. It won’t start wreaking that fast (unless your kid shits a billion times a day, then i’d suggest putting them in a wal-mart bag and taking them out to the garage once a day or more).. and pee diapers don’t smell. They just don’t.
Those weird diaper catching contraptions make your kids shit diapers into what looks like a long string of sausage links.. filled with poo- and when you open that lid? WATCH OUT! The smell will knock you over.
I’ve found it easier just to put dirty (pee) diapers in the box they came in (I have the actual sleeves of diapers in the changing table cabinet) and throw it away when it gets full. Saves money, I don’t have to buy special bags or be smacked in the face with the smell of rancid baby crap.

Microwave sterilizers? Never used mine. Thomas might have once, but I certainly never touched it. I think we still have it stored somewhere.. practically brand new.. and probably still won’t get used. Video monitors? Oy, the expense there is beyond ridiculous to me. Unless you have a preemie, or a child with medical issues that need to be watched meticulously.. just a waste of money in my opinion. you end up staying up ALL night watching that thing, waiting for something bad to happen (God forbid) and never getting any sleep. I had enough trouble with just a regular monitor.. just waiting and listening for him to wake up- I don’t think i’d ever get ANY sleep with a video monitor and sleep as a new parent is a hot commodity.

I could list things on and on that you really won’t need, or things you should WAIT to buy until you get to know the personality of your flesh-blob (hint: swaddlers).. but it would probably be pretty pointless because the temptation is just too great.

Not to mention the fact that other people are going to buy insane amounts of useless crap for you regardless of what you put on your registry.
There’s a registry for a reason people! The things ON the list are the things the parents want/need.
SO many people ignored my registry, and while I appreciated anything I got for Holden.. after about the 20th receiving blanket and billionth ugly outfit it got kind of old.
I didn’t put bottles and nipples on the list for fun!

This time around.. I took the ‘bitch’ route (some may see it that way). I put a little insert into the invitations asking PLEASE for diapers & formula only. Are there other things we kind of need? Sure.. but diapers & formula are the absolute most important. The other things can come later, if needed, or we can get them ourselves.
Will people follow the little insert? Meh, probably not. What fun is shopping for diapers and formula when there are super cute little outfits and trinkets to buy?
Trust me, I understand LOVING shopping for a tiny little baby- it really is fun- but some things are just unnecessary!

Posted on July 22, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 4 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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  • i agree with all those. wipes warmers… is holding it in your hand for a few seconds too much work??

  • Probably right. I think I did use that sterilizer once. It just wasn’t necessary when the water out of our tap reached 400ºC!

    There really is a lot of useless crap for children.

  • I agree with all of this, except for my precious precious diaper genie. ha I just hold my breath while I change it (got it down to an expert 10 seconds) and I toss it right outside, trying not to look at the snake. The LONG snake (I only empty it once or twice a week). Ew. But I had to use a regular trash bin for a week once and I couldn’t take the smell in the room, even taking them out everyday…so that definitely wasn’t for me. But a wipes warmer? Puhleeze.

  • I have to second the diaper genie. We didn’t have a name brand one nor did we really need one early on. Ally being breastfed kept the stinky diapers at bay until she started baby foods. It really helps when your only big trash can is the one RIGHT at the door everyone enters into!!!! The bathroom stinks enough alone on it’s own lol!