I’m not going to sit here and whine and complain about how I want this baby out of me NOW.. regardless of how early it is, or unsafe, or the survival rate, etc etc..
I’d just like to expedite the whole ‘inventing time-travel’ process and fast forward to October already.
Let’s just get past all of the organization, nesting, cleaning, preparing, baby shower & Holden’s birthday and get this crap over with already.
Early? No thanks. I need all the time I can get to prepare for this kid, and for this kid to be prepared for the world. It’d just be nice to skip over the next few months.
It’s probably obvious by now that this pregnancy has become even more uncomfortable, painful, and ridiculous. I didn’t actually think it was possible.. but I guess that’s what happens when you assume.
The evacuation of my insides? Yep, still happening. Except now the worst of it hits me when i’ve FINALLY hit my REM cycle and my eyes snap open and suddenly I realize something very very bad is about to happen.
Am I catching the poop in a container like i’ve been asked to? Uhhh… NO! That’s about the last thing on my mind at 3 in the morning when i’ve been rudely awakened by whatever the hell is going on with my intestines. It’s more like a mad rush in pitch black to the toilet.. and I don’t think I need to paint a picture of what happens after that.
I woke up this morning, hoping to feel better.. and while I wasn’t gripping the toilet with white knuckles and grimmacing, I definitely didn’t feel good at all. It hurt to move and felt like hammers were pounding my skull in.
I put aside the guilt and decided NOT to work out, as it most likely wouldn’t make the situation any better.. probably the best thing i’ve done in a long time. Holden, for some reason, decided today was the perfect day to turn into a complete and total monster and basically screamed and threw fits for the majority of the day.
Just a craptacular day all around. With the head pounding, toddler screaming, tummy aching pain I was feeling- the braxton hicks I actually had to breathe through because they hurt so much made the day drag.
So yes- i’d like whoever is inventing time-travel to HURRY THE EFF UP. I won’t be strapping myself to some contraption like the one in Napoleon Dynamite and electrocuting myself though, i’m not that desperate…
but it’d be nice to snap my fingers and have a full-term baby in my arms and a potty-trained two year old right about now.
If you like to be constantly criticized over your peanut butter to jelly ratio on sandwiches, being a parent is definitely for you.
It's called "Mom Tax" and it applies to ALL SWEETS OBTAINED BY CHILDREN pic.twitter.com/VExGwIOdBn
Live now on Twitch! Come hang out! twitch.tv/holdinholden
How I Unwind the Kids During Summertime goo.gl/fb/bqcdoV
Kid: When do I get the tablet back? Me: Thursday aftern--- Kid: *Yelling* I'LL NEVER GET IT BACK! Me: Okay, I guess never, then. #kidlogic
Being an adult is stupid. pic.twitter.com/ghkAP7UbIt
Me watching #AmericanNinjaWarrior: HAHA weak ass grip strength! Also me: Can't open a pickle jar.