Just call Holden the ‘Phantom Pooper.’
His entire life up until a few months ago, I always knew exactly when he was pooping. Not from timing (he was never the ‘regular’ sort), but from the grunting and determined look on his face. Easy enough to tell that there would soon be a stinky mess to clean off of his butt.
Due to Holden’s sneaky and diabolical ways- this all changed a few months back. No more signs he had to poop, no more grunting, no more pushing.. no more ‘red face’, it’s as though the poop just slides right out (and he does not have liquid poop, yes, I know, TMI- but he doesn’t)- surprising me when it’s potty time and there’s a huge lumpy load.
This makes potty training very frustrating. Without a sign when he’s pooping, and with him not caring if he craps his pants (yet he seems to care at least a TINY bit about pee), how am I to know when to take him?
The weekends tend to be a little different than when i’m home alone with him during the week and he just craps his pants when he pleases- it’s almost as if he doesn’t WANT to poop. Saving it up for mommy perhaps? It occasionally leads to a bit of a constipation issue, which is exactly what happened for the hundredth time this weekend.
No poop.. all weekend.. and it really impeded on potty time. All Holden kept doing was pushing like he was giving birth and screaming- not really normal for him so I could tell he was having some bowel issues.
Still, I didn’t expect him to poop until today.. that’s just how weird my kid is.
This cycle continues all the way up until we put Holden in bed last night. Thomas wanted to smoke so we went outside, and that’s when we heard weird noises coming from inside the house. We have an insane cat who jumps at everything and runs into walls, so at first we thought it was him- but I saw him sitting at the door staring behind him as if to say ‘that noise ain’t comin’ from me!’ so it had to be Holden.
Holden has never gotten out of bed at night. He’s really good about knowing that once he’s in his bed, he’s in his bed until morning (knock on wood!) so something was up.
Thomas rushed inside quickly (he deals with Holden falling out of bed, the kid won’t go back to sleep for me any time but nap time), and when I followed I found them in the bathroom.
Did Holden actually get out of bed to go pee or poop?! Oh glorious night! It’s a miracle!
Nope. That’s not why.
It’s because as soon as he was put to bed, he decided it would be the perfect time to crap his pants.. and THEN get out of bed and head for the bathroom.
Why he couldn’t do this the other way around?? I have no idea! That’ll be the day.
I guess at least he isn’t the type of kid to shit his pants in his sleep and then roll around in it, smearing it all over the place for us to find in the morning. I’d rather have Holden crap his diaper any day than pull that stunt.
This blog has been devoid of a good old fashioned poop post lately- and now I feel as though I have adequately filled that void. You’re welcome!
@DianeAuten There is no other way
@DianeAuten I'm so glad you're enjoying it!
Minecraft Stole my Children goo.gl/fb/VG9w3M
I don't know what I want for dinner, but I can guarantee it's not any of the 14 things my husband will suggest.
@ThisIsAstartes Best worst little shits on the planet.
What's that smell? A lot of pants on fire. pic.twitter.com/bVK0FnJgeB
I'm officially done parenting. Here's how I did it: holdinholden.com/2018/01/im-o…
I’m Officially Finished Parenting. Here’s how I did it goo.gl/fb/TBJQPJ
Some people meal prep to be healthy throughout the week. Some people meal prep because they want to be lazy for the rest of the week. I meal prep to prove to my kids that humans CAN eat the same thing day after day without dying.