Gee, thanks for the words of encouragement!

Have you ever had someone in your life who just craps all over everything you do, every decision you make, every little thing that happens? Almost as if they take some sort of weird pleasure in watching your face fall?
There are far too many people like that in the world these days- half the time I doubt they even know they’re doing it.

My mission statement when it comes to parenting has always been not to sugar coat things for anyone. I’ll be completely and brutally honest if someone wants me to be, but never to the point where i’m making them feel like there is no up side or that every day and every night is going to suck.
I’ve run across so many people who just go way above and beyond over-exaggerating the negative in parenthood to the point of ridiculousness.
Comments like: “It’s all downhill from here!” when Holden was about 7 months old. As if the moment he started walking and talking my life would be pure unadulterated hell. I’d have to disagree, I actually prefer Holden walking and talking, attitude and all. Why would someone say that? Why would someone want you to think being a parent is “downhill”? Sure, it has super sucky days (the ones where your kid has super runny poop that defies gravity and creeps up their back and you have to change their outfit six times in an hour, they won’t eat, they won’t stop whining, etc etc)- i’ve always known that and i’ve always been open about that fact, but never would I tell someone it’s going to be downhill and make them feel like total crap.
There’s being honest, and then there’s being downright negative (for those that are confused about the difference, yes, there is one.)

On the opposite side- I don’t agree with sugar coating parenting either. I don’t think it’s right to tell someone that every day is wonderful and you should ALWAYS be happy because “well at least you have a kid”
Come on now. Let’s get real. No one is so perfect that they’re always happy. If you are- i’d like to know what drugs you’re on.

When I first found out about being pregnant with baby #2, and was in the very slow process of telling people because I wasn’t even sure how I felt about it- it definitely didn’t help to hear people saying things like
“oh there’s no way you can afford that! Get rid of it!”
or: “Two kids?! You’re crazy!”
Thanks so much for the vote of confidence there, buddy. I realize it’s going to be hard, that doesn’t mean I need my face rubbed in it.

I suppose what it comes down to is that people kinda suck. That’s sort of been the subject of the blog the past few days- but well, can’t hide from the truth!
Or maybe, and this is a big maybe- all these people with such craptastic views on parenting just had really shitty kids and assume all other kids will be just as shitty? The world may never know

Posted on June 12, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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  • Funny you should post this.. The other night Sabe and I went to a place to eat and I think the hostess had just found out she was pregnant or something because she said “I’ve heard that it hurts when the baby kicks… is that true?” with this like panicked look on her face. I told her that it was true. It hurts like hell when they get in your hips and ribs but I told her it doesn’t hurt until you get to like 32/34 weeks and they get bigger. Sabe had a cow that I told her that, lol. He said I should have said no. I’m in the same mindset as you. It hurts when you get kicked in the ribs. i’m not gonna say it doesn’t!

  • exactly- why lie?? then some huge angry pregnant chick is gonna come find you once she gets the snot beat out of her on a daily basis and can’t sleep.
    Gotta give it to them straight up- yea, you might poop while giving birth. Yep, your snatch is gonna hurt like hell. No, the epidural might not work. Yes, they really can scream for 7 hrs straight a night..
    but at the same time, I tell people “it really does get better!”.. or I make the bad things funny so they don’t totally crap their pants.