Whether you agree or disagree with what I write here on a daily basis- there are a few things you should definitely walk away with as fact.
There is no ‘safe’ time of the month to have sex and not worry about getting pregnant. No, not even your period.
I’d always heard stories in the past from girls claiming to get knocked up while menstruating and never once did I think it was anything other than complete and total bull. My reactions went from ‘yea right, she’s calculating it wrong’ all the way to ‘she cheated, it’s someone else’s baby!’
When you think about it in the most logical sense, how in the world can sperm even get up there and stay there when there’s blood coming out for a week straight? Not possible!
It seemed like some weird urban legend conspiracy theory created by men who wanted an excuse not to get their ‘red wings.’
Wrong. Very possible. Happens all the time. How? Psh, don’t ask me- I just know it to be true. If you don’t believe me- check out my belly.
On a more serious note- the most important thing to be actually learned from this blog is that NO two ways of parenting are the same. There is always going to be something you do with your child that someone else is going to think is awful, wrong, mean, harsh, stupid, etc etc. Just because they think that doesn’t mean that it’s true- it’s just wrong to them. Parenting is one of those things that no one will ever see 100% eye to eye on. Not even you and the one you created your little monster with.
Some people might like the ‘cry it out’ method, while others say even the smallest form is child neglect. Some may think breastfeeding is the be all end all and that formula is the devil while others don’t see what the hoopla is about, or just don’t want to, or find it archaic and gross (i’ve heard it all). Some may agree with spanking, while others think if you spank you’ll give your kid a lifelong complex.
There are SO many different and tiny things to disagree on- the most important thing is to feel confident and comfortable in what you are doing and while some advice is helpful, a lot of it is just a difference of opinion. No one way is wrong, no one way is right.
It sucks when people force judgment on you, but it’s going to happen. Whether it be from friends, family, other mothers, your pediatrician, or anonymous commenters on a blog.. it’s unavoidable- but it doesn’t mean you’re wrong, and it doesn’t mean you should feel like a terrible person because you aren’t the ‘perfect’ parent according to someone else.
I have had to learn that over and over again. In this day and age, you’d think people would be more open and accepting to all kinds of differences.. unfortunately, there will always be people out there to try and condescend everything you do as a parent.
Take it from me: Screw them.
To leave this blog on a happy note i’ll say one last thing I hope everyone walks away from this blog knowing: it’s OK to laugh as a parent. It’s OK not to take everything so seriously. It’s OK to think your kid is a brat every now and then.. and it’s definitely OK to vent when you need to.
Kids don’t shit rainbows and butterflies, period. Don’t always feel like you have to be super-positive-perky-parent. To normal people- it’s annoying. I’d much rather someone tell me their kid was an obnoxious turd that day then say “OH MY GOD MY CHILD IS SO PERFECT AND WONDERFUL EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY”
What’s the fun in listening to that sunshiney shit all the time?
What you REALLY need to make Holiday (or ANY) Travel Bearable goo.gl/fb/1BdFtj
Other moms: I finished Christmas shopping for my kids in June! Me: pic.twitter.com/FT3tlWGWd2
@CJPendragon learn something new every day!
@WeberWriting Absolutely. It takes a bit of time and juggling but it is 100% doable. Just have to ignore the sanctimommies of the world
Don't feel bad for tossing frozen chicken strips in the oven and calling it dinner. Don't even feel bad if you don't turn them over. holdinholden.com/2016/05/shit…
To the piece of crap who broke into my car over the weekend- You think you found nothing of value to steal, but you actually took with you the nasty head cold my family has been passing around in that very vehicle for the past week. Enjoy, scumbag! xoxo, Germ Infested SUV
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"