Being pregnant for the second time is a funny thing. I obviously know a LOT more than I did the first time around.. I know what to look for- what’s bad and what isn’t- what to be concerned about and what’s normal.. I also know that first time preggos are total alarmists. Understandable. You’re baking womb fruit for the first time- with nothing to compare it to, it’s hard not to get concerned over every little nuance.
Still, there are certain things I can’t help but to roll my eyes at… and not because I think I know more or I think other preggos are dumb, but because i’ve been in that exact position before and have done reading, and known other pregnant people, and know it just ain’t true, or isn’t gonna happen.
Currently, it’s the slew of preggos thinking they’re going to have their baby early. For no reason other than just thinking they are, or being miserable.
Pregnancy ain’t fun towards the end! Being miserable does not equate to popping your child out early- just ask me!
I went into what was considered “pre term labor” at around 26 weeks with Holden. From that moment on it was bed rest, medication to stop contractions, constant doctors visits and exams.. just an all around miserable time. I didn’t think i’d make it to even August (Holden was a September baby), and I think my doctors were very concerned that I wouldn’t (hence all the monitoring). At 90% effaced and a fingertip dilated, it seemed likely that Holden would come early… but 39 weeks rolled around and he was still in there, solidly, regardless of the contractions (or braxton hicks, never knew which they really were) that i’d had for months straight every 3-5 minutes. The kid had to be evicted a week early, and only because my health was so poor.
The fact of the matter is- most first time pregnancies go past term. I say most, because there are plenty that don’t, some because of complications or health issues, some out of nowhere– but MOST will go past 40 weeks. If your doctor is a bit of a sadist, they might even let you go past that if baby is happy staying put. Not much past that, but enough to make you wish you could force yourself into labor.
I try not to be mean, and to only put my 2 cents in if i’m asked because for one: I WAS that person with my last pregnancy, and two: who am I to piss in someone’s cheerios? I just hate to see people get worked up over braxton hicks or feeling like they’re going to pop early when it’s most likely just not going to happen.
As miserable as you are, as swollen as your feet get, as many braxton hicks as you have (which you might just be convinced are real contractions if you’ve never felt a REAL contraction before. Again, been there)- you’re most likely not poppin’ your crotch spawn out before you hit full term. And that’s a GOOD thing. You want to keep that baby baking.
Would you take a cake out of the oven when it’s only halfway done? No, because it would be mushy and raw on the inside. As disgusting as it is- think of your baby the same way. You want them cooked, all the way through!
The masochist in me sort of hopes the people who are convinced they’re going to give birth early (with no real reason to think so like having 2 other kids early or medical issues) go a week past term.. just so they’re proved wrong and I can giggle and think ‘told you so’
I’m pretty sure had I not been induced early due to hypertension, Holden would have stayed in my uterus until he was forced out. Uteruses must be pretty comfy places.
Hard pass from me pic.twitter.com/VayvW1eopK
I've gotten to the point where I'd let my kids summon a demon with a Ouija board before I'd let them play Monopoly together again.
Parenthood is when you start counting the minutes to bed time before 11am.
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WHY WOULD I LIE pic.twitter.com/kEmQYtl1mi