Baffling Boobs

There is no shame in admitting that my entire life I have been a card carrying member of the Itty-Bitty-Titty-Committee. Sure, it used to bother me that while everyone else’s chests were exploding, mine remained small, but the older I got the less bothersome it became. Seeing saggy bacon strip tits made me realize very quickly that I would much rather have mine small & perky than huge and saggy.

Even though my chest grew pretty large with my last pregnancy, it didn’t happen until the very end- so I didn’t have any time to do anything but just enjoy having huge (perky) boobs for once in my life. Had to relish them while they lasted- because they sure as hell didn’t last very long once Holden came screaming into the world. I was a little sad to see them go, and was hoping they’d stick around a lot longer (maybe permanently) but that just didn’t happen for me.

I’ve mentioned before that with this pregnancy, the boobs came immediately. Definitely a shocker for me. They came immediately and with a vengeance, because only recently has the searing god awful “I just got implants” pain stopped and i’ve been able to accidentally graze myself without wincing.

Now that i’ve had a little more time with the big’uns, there are things i’ve noticed that really just sort of baffle me.. or gross me out… or weird me out.

The main thing being cleavage sweat. Is this even normal? I realize it’s summer, and it’s hot.. and I suppose you could even call me a ‘sweaty’ person because I have hyperhidroses that I take a topical medication for so i’m not a disgusting sweaty mess- but to go outside for just a few minutes and feel sweat dripping down my cleavage is not cute. Murky cleavage? Who wants that??
I’d expect the swamp boob issue if you had.. say.. a size F boob. Things that big and bulky are bound to work up a sweat all on their own.. but a C?

And speaking of C.. I’m not even sure I am one anymore. Considering that i’ve never really had the opportunity to grow OUT of a bra up until now- the growing boob thing baffles me. How do you REALLY know if a bra is too small? I THINK that the Cs I just bought are too small because the cups are leaving lines on my boobs (giving the effect of a see-through bra once I take them off, cute!) but when I go into the store and look at D cup bras… Well, there’s just no way I could even dream of fitting into those. It’s this HUGE jump, or it looks like it anyways. They look like chest shields. How are Ds and Cs so much different in size? I don’t even want to try them on in fear of them laughing themselves off of me… and because if I get up to a D, man.. my boobs are going to look like accident victims after I give birth and they deflate like sad little balloons.

I’m sure right now people are thinking ‘well, if boob size is the biggest concern of yours, you should be pretty happy’- but the truth of it is.. they sit on my chest and taunt me all day.. so how can I not think about them? Sure, I could go on and on about my uterine pain.. or pelvic pain.. or gas pain.. but today is the tits!

Posted on June 4, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 5 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden



  • TMI- Us larger boob girls have been known to put a little Secret or Degree under and between on really humid days! 😉

  • omg that’s hilarious! because of my topical medicine i’m not allowed to wear deodorant.. haven’t worn it in YEARS, so I never would have thought of that!

  • You could just use my Old Spice.

    24 Hour Protection! YEAH!

  • Occasionally, I wish for a larger chest, but it’s been nice having smaller ones. I can fit into about any top I want to :p, unless of course, it’s too busty. But I digress.

  • Sorry for Commenting on old posts but I’m trying to catch up! I have terrible hyperhydrosis and I take an awesome medicine called Robinol. It’s prescription only but the best thing that has ever happened to me!!