Worse than a latex glove in your crotch

You may think that the worst part of OBGYN appointments while pregnant is having all sorts of nurses and doctors fish around your crotch and poking at your cervix constantly.. but since i’ve been through pregnancy and vaginal childbirth before- sadly I have gotten used to weird people peering at my insides, so of course- there are other things to focus on and stress out about.

For me, this time around, it’s stepping on the scale. I absolutely dread it. I wish I could wear weightless clothes and never gain weight and never have a fear of how much I may have gained from one appointment to the next- but that never happens. Gaining weight, ESPECIALLY for smaller women, is a normal part of pregnancy.
Normal, but never pleasant.

With Holden’s pregnancy, I gained around 40lbs.. and caught a lot of flack for it. Being asked what I was eating, why I gained so much in one month (my record was 10lbs in a month).. it was enough to make ANY pregnant woman worry about weight, even when they shouldn’t be.

See, when it comes to pregnancy weight gain- bigger women have it easier. They either gain NOTHING, lose weight, or only gain a little that comes right off after giving birth because it’s mostly blood, baby & fluid.
I don’t know why it is that small women get the freaking shaft, but basically every small girl I know has gained 40+. The smaller you are, the MORE you gain. Where does it all go? I have no idea. Everyone’s telling you “Oh you’re all belly!”, but no way can JUST your belly have gained 40 pounds or you’d be toppling over forwards.

I’d been doing really well this pregnancy with only gaining 2 or 3 pounds here and there, and I was pretty pleased with that compared to the massive weight gain my last pregnancy until today. I had a feeling this appointment wouldn’t go well when it came to weigh-in time because my stomach has gone from basically non-existant to full on pregnant since my last appointment, but I didn’t expect to gain somewhere around EIGHT pounds in the past month.
How?? Where did it go?? Where am I hiding it?
With what i’m eating, and my exercise- if I weren’t pregnant i’d probably be losing weight.
My blood pressure is absolutely stellar (110/60, lower than it’s ever been but I was praised for it today since I have a history of skyrocketing BP while pregnant) so I know it isn’t water retention from having hypertension. At least this time around, my doctor didn’t even mention anything about my weight to me.. she did, however, mention that my baby is HUGE. That freaks me out. Not 8lbs huge though. I’d be full term at 21 weeks if that were the case. EW!

The whole thing is baffling and stressful to me. The ONE thing I wanted to avoid was gaining so much weight and it taking so long and so much work to come off after giving birth- especially since i’ll probably have LESS time taking care of 2 kids to exercise than I did after Holden (although he screamed constantly).

Although I know that the weight gain is inevitable, especially with all the facts right in front of me (and with all the more important things to concern myself with), it’s a hard thing to swallow watching that scale jump up so much in such a short time.

I feel gross, and all I want is a Snickers! Damnit!

Posted on May 28, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 7 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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  • I can’t believe your doc gave you a hard time last time for 40 lbs! 80 I can see, but 40 is pretty typical for someone small (which you definitely are!).

    I gained 23 lbs with Emily because I’m not small. lol I want to lose quite a bit of weight if/before I get preg again because I think it’s normal to gain a little more wait the second time around- baby/fluid weight, not really fat wise. Second babies are usually bigger!

  • Anonymous- i’m fully aware of what you’re told you’re “supposed” to gain during pregnancy. That doesn’t mean it’s accurate.
    For my pregnancy with Holden, as a SMALL woman (5’9″ and 123 at the start) I would have had to DIET to gain less than I did. Not exactly healthy for someone who is already “underweight” to begin with.
    Same with this pregnancy, I am eating WAY healthier than I did last time, and exercising, and still, the weight is piling on.
    There’s nothing I can do but be healthy, my body is going to gain what it wants to gain and so is everyone elses. That’s why I think those reports are full of SHIT. totally full of shit, and stress people out when they gain more than the recommended amount when they aren’t doing ANYTHING wrong.

    Laura- I know lots of women who want to lose weight before having children! It makes sense in the health aspect.. just shitty you’d gain MORE once you’re smaller than you would at your current size! what kinda crap is that?

    Do not tell me second babies are bigger. I almost couldn’t get Holden out and he was 7lbs and a week early.

  • Okay, I won’t tell you. 😉 It’s not always a huge 2-3 pound baby difference if that makes you feel better- the actual fluid/placenta can just have more volume time #2.

    And I saw that on the news myself even though it was non-news and nothing new. It said 40 pound weight gain was recommended for underweight women. Durr. Not to get intimate Jenny, but I’ve seen your hip bones sticking out in pics so I think that qualifies. lol Actually, wait, so what’s the big diff between 35 and 40 anyway?

    I’d like to lose about 40 more pounds before I get preg and then try to only gain about 25 again…that way I won’t get back over what I lost eh! I’ve lost 15 so far since February, but I’ve gotten sick 4 times since then and have to keep taking diet/exercise breaks.

    Wow, this was long.

  • Oh trust me I know i’m considered underweight (or was). always been that way.
    I just think it’s ridiculous to tell someone as small as me that any weight gain over 40 lbs is too much when honestly I can’t help what I gain.

    My last pregnancy, after being told I was fat and to “stop eating so much” i basically stopped eating ANYTHING fatty and still gained 20 more pounds. So in order to not gain 40+ pounds i’d have to diet and I just don’t see that being healthy when i’m small to begin with. obviously my body WANTS me to gain the weight because it does it regardless of what I eat.

    I was told last time what i “should” gain.. but different people said different things. One nurse bitched, the other said “well you were small to begin with”
    opinions are like assholes, KWIM?

    I was in the process of getting in shape before this baby (not getting ‘skinny’, though that came with the territory) and even that did nothing to curb the weight gain. I think since I was smaller before this one (by about 5-10lbs) that i’ll most likely gain more. Doesn’t seem fair.

  • I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better about it. Sounds like you are doing okay yourself as long as you are getting out it!! I think you look beautiful!

    Being small in the beginning and then providing for a baby also, I can understand why your body might hold onto more. I see your hipbones and your belly, which makes it looks like all the weight is where the baby is!! It doesn’t look like you’re gaining anything in your arms/legs or even your face so Idk where it’s going except to the baby!!

    I don’t agree with you on the overweight women having it easier. As an overweight preggo, I was told to only gain 15 to 25 pounds and that was stressful in itself when you have no clue how much you’re going to grow or which end of appetite spectrum you’ll fall in-wanting to throw up versus wanting to eat everything in sight!! I’d like to experience having a baby belly and people asking me when I’m due instead of just looking at me and thinking I’m simply fat, nothing else. It would’ve been nice for anyone to acknowledge that I actually LOOKED pregnant(other than family, of course). Maybe I can lose the weight and then complain about it if we have another when people are invading my space!

    Keep eating healthy now(do you eat at regular times?) and after he’s born if you can keep it up! I hope things turn out to be easier than what’s expected!!

  • I could never have been considered a small girl before I was pregnant, yet with each baby I gained 50-60lbs. I actually lost all of that after the first two were born. However, after Thomas was born it took nearly 3 years to get rid of it. Even though I was chasing 3 kids. I guess we are each individuals and need to look at it as such. Just keep doing what you are doing. I believe in you.