140 days down, 140 more to go.
I seriously can not believe I have been pregnant for 140 days already. ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY. Unreal. It doesn’t even feel like half that long. I suppose I ‘lucked out’ in the sense that I didn’t find out until much later than most people, so that got rid of a 7 week wait already.. so in a way it only feels like i’ve been pregnant for 13 weeks, which isn’t very long at all.
At this point, I think most pregnant women would be getting excited about the impending birth of their child, saying “yay! halfway done!” but I seem to just get more nervous. 20 weeks is still a long ways to go when you really break it down and think about it.. but I wish I had MORE time. More time to potty train stubborn ass Holden, more time to spend alone with him, more time to mentally PREPARE myself for having two little boys around the house.. more time to sleep in, or sleep at all- because I know for damn sure I won’t be getting any once the baby arrives.
I’m definitely not freaking out like I was in the beginning of this pregnancy, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say i’m ‘ready.’ I’m not sure there’s really such a thing as being fully prepared to have a child. You never know what the kid is going to be like, what their temperment will be like, how well they’ll eat or sleep- or how you’ll handle all of those things as a parent.
Sure, parenting comes pretty naturally.. but babies are CONFUSING- and that’s putting it lightly. It took me a very long time to figure Holden out, and to this day he still baffles me from time to time.
Someone needs to invent a GPS for a baby.. step by step directions on what to do, what baby needs- and WHY baby is crying. That would be awesome.
I suppose now I should just enjoy the time I have left before I become a mommy of TWO.. scary thought. I should probably also enjoy these mega-boobs baby has given me, because those won’t last long after I pop him out either.
Oh, and I should ESPECIALLY enjoy not having a period.. or pain in my crotch from physically giving birth… I really reaaaaaaaaally don’t look forward to that.
How you win at parenting pic.twitter.com/vFxCsfqmh7
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Is it possible to have one?? I’m not really sure.. but I feel like of the uterus world, mine is the one sitting in the corner eating paint chips and banging its’ head against the wall. It just doesn’t GET why it has to do all the hard work. It’s always angry about something, always paining me and bothering me and causing me to lose sleep, simultaneously pissing off the rest of my body. It’s not fun times.
I really think if it weren’t for my uterus, i’d be one of those happy preggos you see in all the pictures in maternity sections of stores. Glowing, smiling, a generally happy attitude towards pregnancy in general.
Instead i’m irritable and angry and it takes me 2 minutes to get my ass out of a chair, not because i’m big, but because my uterus refuses to let me do it any faster or it contracts.. already clutching my stomach as if i’m going to pop- but i’m only halfway there. It’s awesome to be the angry preggo, lemme tell you!
If I want to compare it to something more understandable to those who have never been pregnant.. I guess i’d say it’s like having a big nasty splinter in your foot. You leave it there long enough and your body gets angry and just tries to push it out. Gets all infected and red and painful.. that’s what being pregnant, for me, is like. My body is trying to reject a foreign object… only it’s being freaking STUPID because my BODY is the one growing it.
Trust me, i’d prefer to be the happy preggo- but being uncomfortable all the time sort of prevents that. Any wrong movement, any kick from the baby.. even him getting the hiccups causes a nasty braxton hicks contraction. Even earlier than I got them with Holden. I do NOT want another pregnant like I had with him. The braxton hicks I can learn to live with because I know that they aren’t doing anything other than just being annoying, but if along with the braxton hicks comes the high blood pressure, bed rest, swelling, headaches, dizziness, and medication to ‘stop labor’ that makes me shake like a crack addict in need of another hit… I think i’ll go totally insane.
My uterus sucks. Plain and simple. It sucks, and it’s stupid, and I hate it! SO THERE!
Now.. off to go watch the end of this horribly long and cheesy American Idol finale.