Not everyone’s a fan

During my time as a ‘professional’ musician, I met a lot of different types of people. All ages, all sizes, all types. When someone is a fan, is complimenting you- you learn to be gracious and receiving of everyone, regardless of whether they’re your type of person or not. Through that, I think I became a really accepting person. I get along with most everyone, even if I may not particularly like the person, I can be nice and carry on a good conversation. A pretty good trait to have.. but sometimes, once in a blue moon, there is someone I meet (inside and outside of the music scene) that I just do not like, can not like, can not get along with. Someone I can’t even bear to be in the same room with without wanting to grind my teeth down.

It happens so infrequently, that I really don’t know what to do with myself when it does.

And some people just can’t accept that I just can’t get along with them. It’s not anything particular they did, or said.. it’s a total clash of personalities. I’m sure there are people out there who feel the same way about me, not everyone can be a fan of you/your personality.
It’s not a matter of getting to know the person better, because sometimes the more you know, the less you like. It’s not about giving another chance- there are situations where NOTHING can make you like someone.

I don’t consider myself a rude or abrasive person (not face to face anyways, this blog is different), I don’t like being mean, or coming off as such.. but what else can you do? Not speaking at all doesn’t help the situation, it’s considered rude and disrespectful.
Oh how I would love to avoid these situations altogether, but you can’t hide forever.. especially when it’s someone who’s been injected into your life indefinitely. Be it a friend’s boyfriend or husband or wife, a roommate, a family member, you can’t get away from those people. So how do you deal if you just can’t be nice? If you just want to scream whenever this person is around? And the more they push (because they have the tendency to push), the more cornered and uncomfortable you feel?

Being pregnant really intensifies the situation tenfold. I find myself getting claustrophobic very often, and needing a much larger area of personal space or I feel like i’m going to tear my hair out- and a lot of people just don’t respect that. Walking around with a big belly and getting my cervix stomped on the regular, and seeing hands come towards me as if it’s hunting season and my stomach has just become free range makes me want to bite hands off.
It’s like being at a frat party and that drunk bastard just won’t take no for an answer. Keeps coming back with corny little lines to try and make you laugh, but you aren’t even cracking a smile. They say really gross things because they’re drunk and don’t realize there are boundaries, and no matter how uncomfortable you look, or make it known that you are- they won’t walk away. They just follow you around, all night, hoping you’ll finally give in and like them… it never happens.

I just want to crawl under a rock. One big enough to hide me and this belly.

Posted on May 14, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment
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