Loading

Just call me The Guru

About once a week since I got pregnant with Holden, I will receive a random text message or email from someone I know (regardless of whether we talk on a regular basis or not) saying something along the lines of:
“Are there any specific symptoms i’d get if I were pregnant?”

Yes, my friends use less precaution than I do, go friends!

I always laugh, not only because it’s a question i’ve been asked SO many times by SO many people, but also because there’s really nothing special that I know that someone else wouldn’t. I’m not the only veteran preggo that my friends know- so why me? Is it the blog that makes people think I am an encyclopedia of pregnancy knowledge?
Yes, i’ve done more research on the subject than most- since Holden was a VERY planned pregnancy, and since I run a message board full of mommies so I feel the need to be well versed on the subject of uteruses, vaginas, and babies.. but most people don’t know that.

What is it about me that screams ‘PREGNANCY GURU!!!!’ ???

While amusing, it does make me feel just the tiniest bit special that people will come to me with the knowledge that they were big fat dummies and didn’t use the necessary precautions to prevent pregnancy in the first place. It’s pretty cool to be the source of knowledge among my peers.

Googling would probably provide less embarrassment and a larger array of answers because when it comes to the subject of “am I or aren’t I knocked up?” I always have the same one:

I DON’T KNOW!

I realize that doesn’t help all that much, so I always throw in a few symptoms here and there.. exhaustion, nausea, big sore boobs…
I also make sure to mention that pregnancy symptoms are basically the exact same as the oncoming of the lovely monthly friend: your period.
There is no ONE specific symptom you’re going to get that’s going to tell you that you are definitely pregnant beyond a reasonable doubt.
With both of my pregnancies, I had NO symptoms that gave me any kind of indication of pregnancy whatsoever. Especially this one.

Trying to conceive makes you over analyze absolutely every little thing you’re feeling or not feeling.. if you’re worried that you might be pregant- you’ll most likely convince yourself that you are.. and probably stress yourself out to the point that your period will end up even later than it may already be. Our bodies are wonderful things, aren’t they?

My best advice other than all else is this: calm down, sit back, and wait. The earliest you’re going to get a positive pregnancy test is most likely 9 days past ovulation, and even that is pushing it. AND that’s IF you know when you ovulated. Not every cycle is exactly the same, regardless of how “regular” you think you may be (I learned that the hard way). There is NO safe time of the month to have unprotected sex, not even your period.
Until your period is late, there’s nothing else to do. Stressing doesn’t help. Even if your period is late, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re pregnant. Even if you get a negative test,it doesn’t mean you aren’t.
Pregnancy is a mystifying and baffling thing, even to a Guru like myself. While I wish I had all of the answers- I do not. I’ll still answer all of your questions, though.. and silently giggle to myself because everyone else is just as dumb and irresponsible as me.

Posted on May 26, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden

  •  

2 Comments

  • I would assume that you would be the most knowledgeable person that I know about pregnancy. Well… my grandmother did produce five children, so there is a chance that she knows quite a bit. However, that was about four decades ago. Pregnancy, although it hasnt changed, has become easier to diagnose in modern times.

    Still, you are right. Just try not to stress and protect yo’self.

  • “Just try not to stress and protect yo’self.” LOL Well said!!

    It is crazy how your mind can affect your body. It’s also a very cruel fact of nature that early pregnancy symptoms are so similar to PMS. Unless you just have to pee all the time, then that might be a sign of either a pregnancy or an infection. Either way, you gotta get looked at!