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I can’t get no satisfaction

It’s strange- I pick out most of the dinner stuff when we go grocery shopping (with a little input from Thomas), and all of it at the time seems yummy and like something i’d want to eat regardless of the day. Pastas, meats, sauces, box dinners- they’re all well and good when we’re out.. I say “oh that sounds good!” and plop it in the cart.
Dinner rolls around, I open the freezer or the pantry and go sifting through and absolutely NONE of that turns out to be what I really want. It doesn’t matter how much of an assortment we have, or the amount.. I never seem to want any of it.
ANYTHING else other than what we have in the house is what I want. Every single night this happens, and I never know why.

It ends with me grumbling through cooking dinner, grumbling through eating dinner- and ending the night unsatisfied.

Most of the time, i’ll just eat what we have anyways because I feel bad that we have SO much food (food that I picked out), yet I don’t want to eat it.. and I don’t want to go out and get something that is most likely greasy and chocked full of fat, not to mention spending more money when we’ve already spent money on groceries- it doesn’t change the fact that it just isn’t what I WANT to be eating.

The worst part? Most of the time I don’t even know what the thing is that I want. No clue. Just don’t want what we got.
It has to be my inner fat-kid coming out, chanting in the back of my head ‘taco bell! taco bell! taco bell!’ that makes me feel this way at dinner time each evening. Maybe if my tacos tasted anything like taco bell tacos, I could be a little happier about eating at home.. but even with taco bell seasoning, it just ain’t the same.

I think part of it stems from the fact that I just want to get the hell out of the house. I’m stuck in the house basically every day all day (other than play time outside), and relish the time I get to spend out.. but don’t like going out on my own. Don’t like wasting gas with nowhere to go.. don’t feel comfortable taking Holden to the park ALL the way across town with all the weirdos, etc etc. So inside it is, bored bored bored and stir crazy.
Obviously the easiest and most convenient way to leave the house once Thomas is home is to go and pick up something to eat (even if it’s only 10 minutes out, it’s still out) since he gets home at dinner time.

All of this leads to me being on the road to lardass-dom, a road I do not want to travel. So I will eat unsatisfactory healthy-ish food if that means being stuck in the house for days on end. Worth the trade I think.

Posted on May 30, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 3 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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3 Comments

  • Have you tried taking Holden out to like one of the fast food’s play area? That way you get out of the house and spend time with Holden playing. Win win.

  • I haven’t. it’s a good thought- but-

    I think i’d be too tempted to eat, and no money to eat with.

    that + being alone in a kids play area where Holden is most likely to bust his face because he refuses to climb things correctly sounds stressful.

    I’ve never been the type to like going to a restaurant and eating alone. Although Holden would be there, he doesn’t really speak english, so technically it’d still be me sitting there alone twiddling my thumbs, trying to make sure Holden doesn’t break his face

  • I feel you on going out to eat alone. I just can’t do that either. I will get it at the drive through and sit in the parking lot to eat it!! LOL I did that with a grilled chicken wrap from McDonald’s once. Got Ally a kid’s meal and we ate in the car! This was before the heat got here. Ick. And omg, I will never take Ally to this one McDonald’s in town again. Their play area was DISGUSTING. It looked like someone barfed going down the slide. It was ridiculous and the manager didn’t even seem to care.