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The Crumb Catcher

While I may not be a fan or supporter of the expanding that comes along with pregnancy in the way of the huge belly, thighs that will inevitably rub together (aka chub rub) or the pokey bellybutton that could give small children nightmares..
There are a few (key word: FEW) perks that I feel are worth mentioning

Men have the ability to grow a mustache (well, some women can, but i’m on the team that believes NAIR or WAX should be used in those circumstances), lovingly referred to by ‘stache enthusiasts as “The Flavor Savor”
I think as a pregnant woman, I have that beat.
BEHOLD, “The Crumb Catcher”

If you will notice, the belly is being used to perfectly hold my camera for easy use (don’t ask what else is going on in this picture. People are made to do idiotic things at baby showers.) It’s like having a TV-tray permanently attached to your front side. Good to hold a plate of cookies, and if you happen to get big enough- you may even be able to perfectly balance your drinking glass on it.
Right now- I have a mini-shelf, big enough to eat crackers as a snack last night and having enough crumbs to tape together as one full cracker sitting right at the top. Not ideal, no, BUT, they didn’t get all over the floor or the chair I was sitting in- which is a plus for clean up purposes.

Carting around a huge belly full of baby also leads to being spoiled in the way of courtesy from strangers. Hooligans and Whipper Snappers alike will give up their seats for you.
While huge and pregnant with Holden, Thomas and I went to pick up a pizza from a place in town called “$5 pizza’- obviously a classy establishment- and when we arrived the two chairs they had were being occupied by your every-day punk ass kid. I certainly didn’t expect to be given a seat, as the younger generation usually doesn’t give a flying fart about a pregnant woman- but sure enough, one got up and offered me his.
Would this have happened had I not waddled in the door, pregnant and swollen? Probably not. I certainly wouldn’t bet my cheap ass (but delicious) $5 pizza on it.

Lastly-wearing stretch pants & sweats in public are finally acceptable. Hell, wearing them in general (other than when you’re working out or in bed) is acceptable. No one’s going to look at a pregnant woman with an enormous belly cross-eyed when she looks like a complete bum in public. It’s practically expected. Comfort is probably the most important thing to a preggo, so not getting funny looks walking through the mall looking like you’re wearing pajamas is a definite plus.

So very few good things that come along with getting huge and round and fat- but at least there’s a silver lining to it.

Posted on May 26, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 2 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden

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2 Comments

  • I think I might start growing a ‘stache. I think it might be cool, but I fear looking too much like your dad. :oP

    JK all around.

    I can see how being able to place an entire plate of fatty foods can be helpful in your situation. You kinda have to worry that when you get bigger random strangers in Wal-mart are going to feel the want and compulsion to touch the baby bump. Or even partially known relatives. Ick.

  • I’m so happy to see you looking on the bright side!! 😛 Spill it though, what was really going on in that picture? LOL Why do people feel that they have to make baby showers so embarrassing?!