Lately I have felt as though I am in someone else’s body.
Being pregnant is like an out of body experience. Everything changes, morphs, moves.. parts you didn’t even know existed start to ache. Some of it is fun, like the baby kicks and the big porno boobs.. but this time around I feel like i’m falling apart.
Working out had become part of my daily routine after I had Holden (long after I had Holden, went through a long period of laziness there in the beginning). I felt good while working out, I knew I was bettering myself and in the end would take more pride in how I looked.. I could get through an hour workout without taking a break.
Immediately after getting pregnant, working out became a painstaking task.. more so than usual. When normally I could do about 25 squats without pause, now after 5 I find myself out of breath and having to take a seat to lower my heart rate (as having a high one is not healthy for baby.) Instantly I went from feeling in shape and strong, to feeling totally weak and limp noodle-ish.
Currently, I seem to have completely fucked my shoulder up. From what? Psh. Your guess is as good as mine. I do the same things basically every day, and every day I feel relatively fine.. until last night. Aching, tight pain.. not exactly like a pulled muscle, hard to describe. The only thing I can think that would explain it is that my posture is changing to accommodate the ever-growing belly.. and somehow, that must have thrown my shoulder out of whack. I could probably use better posture, but i’ve never had good posture and never had problems with my shoulder. So here I sit, with a stinky heat bag on my shoulder trying not to grimmace in pain.
The constant urge to pee isn’t super fabulous either. During pregnancy, you’ll notice that you feel like you’ve been holding piss for days, only to sit down and a teeny tiny little trickle comes out. It’s a super unsatisfactory moment where you say to yourself “really? that’s it?” and your bladder answers “Yep, and be prepared to do it again in 30 minutes!”
Even better to have this feeling while baby is stomping all over your bladder. Kiss your ability to ‘hold it’ goodbye.
Soon, i’ll have swollen feet, a puffy face, a dark crooked line running down my stomach and random cellulite springing like fountains out of nowhere.. and i’ll be waddling like a duck, a shadow of my former self… a LARGE shadow of my former self.
As much as i’d like this pregnancy to take it’s sweet time, i’m sort of ready to not feel like i’m a foreigner in my own body.
@anninabyrne He mentioned something about penis trampolines. I don't even know.
My 10 yo didn't know that Dick is short for Richard so he's spent the past 10 yrs thinking Dick's Sporting Goods is a store for penis sports
8yo told me that Oct 31st is "national knock-knock joke day"- which means Halloween will henceforth be known as "The Most Annoying Day Ever"
@SassyPsychDoc "It seemed like a good idea at the time"
@SassyPsychDoc I fact-checked him myself. Someone was seriously sleeping on the job that day
Thought my 8yo was lying when he said that a male woodchuck is a he-chuck & a female is a she-chuck.Nope. If I have to know that, so do you!
Sometimes advice from our kids is EXACTLY what we need to hear. Been a rough few months & what my 8yo said hit home holdinholden.com/2017/10/winn…
10yo: What is calculus? Me: It's you + me = us Husband: get out. #oldpeoplejokes
Bravery AND confidence pic.twitter.com/voqjVXWgZx