It has taken over.

Ahhh pregnancy, and all the wonderful things that come along with it.

First, the preggo brain and the bloating.. and eventually, all perception of gravity and stability evaporate as well.

So far i’d done pretty good at not beating myself into oblivion, not falling over or running into things (and i’m usually a pretty clumsy person anyways), but today is proof that I did not escape the preggo clumsiness trait.

A friend of mine came over to visit today. Of course, Holden was groping all over her boobs, but that’s beside the point.
She asked me for a glass of water. I needed more water anyways, and had an empty can of rootbeer on the side table (mmmm rootbeer), so I pick all the crap up and make my way to the kitchen.
Not even three steps into my journey- I step directly on Holden’s helicopter toy.

Usually i’d just scream an expletive and be on my way, but this particular helicopter has a hole in the top to put balls in and it plays really ridiculous music.. my foot happened to go straight into said hole and get stuck.
Did I mention the helicopter has wheels on the bottom?

Can you imagine what happened next?

With the other foot firmly planted, foot stuck in helicopter goes rolling forward. Both of my hands are full so I can’t grab onto anything, so away rolls my foot.

Preggo doing the splits. My knee slammed into the ground, helicopter goes flying, water goes splashing- I grimace in pain and embarrassment. I am NOT a super flexible person.. so my va-jay wasn’t feeling too awesome after that either.

I’m lucky I didn’t break my damn neck. How i’ve avoided doing something like that for Holden’s entire life I have no idea- but that was bad. My knee is red, black and blue and painful.. and now I fear falling over the crap Holden constantly throws around the house. Especially when i’m HUGE and clumsy. I might feel fat, but i’m not nearly as fat as i’m gonna be.

If only my friend had been filming.. I would have won 10k on America’s Funniest Home Videos hands down. The sound I made while falling into the splits in slow motion probably would have clinched it.

Hindsight is 20/20!

Posted on April 16, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 6 Comments
Holdin' Holden

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  • I know what toy you are talking about! My child has it and I can tell you that i have tripped over and ran into that blasted thing more times than I care to remember. I have even gotten my foot stuck in the top of the helicopter with blue purpellars.

  • YES!!!! that is the one!

    the one that has no damn volume control, and will continue to play songs 30 minutes after anyone or anything has stopped touching it.

    my knee still hurts. I hate that thing and now i’m tempted to hide it

  • Although this story is not funny, beacuse you hurt yourself. It is comical in how you presented it. “so away rolls my foot.”

    I didn’t know that your va-jay-jay was a-paining either. Sorry to hear about it. Your knee does look pretty painful. 🙁

    Throw that toy in the trash.

  • Oof…I feel your pain. I fall all the time. I fell once while preggo- of course that freaks you out. Then I fell a month after my c-section walking on gravel in the park. And I just fell this past Monday getting into the shower (and it has not been fun keeping Emily off of my hurt leg!). Now that I think of it, I’m surprised I only fell once with her!

  • Ugh, I hate toys with no volume control! What were they thinking?! Oh, I know… They were thinking,”Let’s annoy the hell out of some parents today!!” 😛

    I hope you heal well!

  • i just wish i wouldve been like right behind you to catch you or something. but that helicopter got what was coming to it when you kicked it across the room afterwords