With my new found sense of THRIFT in full effect, every weekend for the past month I have dragged Thomas and Holden to yard sales at the ass-crack of dawn trying to find everything from baby stuff, to lawnmowers.
Not that we ever really got to “sleep in” anyways, as Holden wakes up really freaking early and the best we can do is doze unless he wants to be saintly and go back to sleep in bed with us (rare), but getting up and ready at 7 in the morning to try and be rummaging through someone else’s shit by 8 is not ideal for any of us.
Last night while doing the usual (a.k.a browsing craigslist), I saw that one of the nicest neighborhoods in my whole city was having a community yard sale this morning. I was like a kid on Christmas morning. RICH PEOPLE SELL GOOD SHIT! Well, most of the time. It was decided right then and there, we were going.
Try as I might, I couldn’t get my ass to bed early. So when my phone rang at 7 in the morning, and it was my brother- I thought someone had DIED.
Nope, he wanted to go yard-saling with us. After working all night, he was up and chipper to go. Me, being drowsy, told him we’d be leaving in an hour and i’d call him back.
I tried to doze… rejected. I was awake, and so was Holden. When I called Biff back, he was changing into his PJs.. and changed right back out when I told him about the rich people yard sale.
Little did we know just how big this event was going to be. Every damn subdivision had shit for sale. And it’s impossible to walk the whole thing. So it means getting in and out of your car, driving here and there.. and some subdivisions were so crowded you couldn’t drive through to browse, you had to get out and walk. Good exercise, maybe.. Exhausting,definitely.
For four hours we yard saled. 8am-noon.
Biff made it out with some exercise equipment (after calling my dad to help us carry all the shit. We were stupid for taking a sedan!), some clothes for him and his son and soon-to-be stepdaughter, and more shit I can’t even remember.
We made it out with a baby monitor with two receivers (since ours totally shit out a few months back), a HUGE play table for Holden, a double stroller, pair of shoes for Holden and a couple other little things. Not to mention one of the best hotdogs i’ve had in YEARS.
We all walked away with some of the most intense exhaustion ever. I can’t remember when i’ve been so tired last! Lucky for me, I got to nap with Holden (who could barely keep his eyes open on the way home) once we got back.. unlucky for Thomas, he had to mow the lawn. The huge lawn. The lawn with the overgrown backyard and a 4 horsepower lawnmower.
Did I mention how rank my feet smelled? As comfortable as flats are.. they make your feet smell like dead people… covered in burnt hair.
Yard sales: good for the pocket, bad for the nose.
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times