As i’ve mentioned before, occasionally I write sponsored blog posts to get a little extra pocket change.
In order to get the higher paying blog sponsorships, you have to have a shitload of viewers read your blog, as well as other websites LINKING to your blog. The more popular the website, the more it counts towards your “google rank”
The whole thing is confusing to say the least. I’d like to think I have decent readership, but of course i’m nowhere near gossip blogs or say.. a famous band’s website, so i’ve always struggled and been stuck around the 4k-6k mark. Apparently those numbers are not good. You want LOW numbers when it comes to your RealRank (as opposed to google rank, where you want a higher number.. yes I know, i’m confusing MYSELF already).
A perk to these websites that pay you to write about random crap is that they let you see your ranks as they go up and down. One goes as far as to show you a graph of how your blog is doing on a daily basis, as well as telling you WHERE the largest percentage of your readers are coming from.
Color me shocked when I logged in last night and saw that my graph had done this:
My RealRank went from (i’m guessing) somewhere around 5k to 1100. That is a HUGE jump, especially overnight.
What did I do to suddenly attract so many readers? Is it because i’m pregnant again, and so I attract not only moms but preggos?
Is it an influx of retarded anonymous commenters who continue to come back and read even though from their comments they seem to be spewing hatred in my direction (seriously, if you don’t like the blog, STOP READING IT. If you were reading a book and thought it totally sucked, would you keep reading it? no. So go away, and research your opinions before posting them, morons)?
Did some other super popular website mention me and send hoardes of their fans to my little blog?
Of course, the first thing I did was to go to my demographics page and check out where people are coming from. I don’t totally trust this feature 100% but it can still give you an idea of who may be reading.
I noticed that other than coming from the blogspot mainpage, a lot of the top incoming ‘referrers’ as they call them are google searches.
Google searches for WHAT you may ask?
And did I mention this website also claims that 99% of my readers are female? THAT I believe, but if you put two and two together.. that means WOMEN are looking for leaky tit porno on my blog.
A) I don’t talk about leaky tits that often in this blog for my page to come up at the top of a google search for ANY of those options
B) Who the fuck has some weird milk spurting tit fetish and actually comes to my blog thinking they’re going to see pornographic images of such an act?
The whole thing is disturbing to me. Who are these people? Even today my rank went up YET AGAIN, so it’s not just a one time deal of “oops wrong page, i’m looking for leaky tit porno!”
these weird boob sucking fetish freaks keep returning, according to this website.
YOU WON’T FIND ANY LEAKY MILKING SQUIRTING TIT PORNO HERE, PEOPLE!
Just a mommy with a filthy mouth and the urge to tell the truth… and nothing but the truth (come on.. it was just too easy).
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times