The one thing some people may enjoy about their little boy getting older is that they tend not to piss straight up into the air so much when you change them.
Holden didn’t do this as much as other babies i’d heard about (parental horror stories, I think people were just trying to scare us), but he did it often enough to arm myself with a cloth to shove over his peep area if I ever saw it coming to full attention (which I still keep around for emergencies, and if the wipe gets his ass too wet.. do NOT want diaper rash).
Now that we’ve been potty training for a good while, I haven’t had to deal with getting sprayed in mid-air at all. I can’t remember the last time he did it to be honest.. but that’s mostly because he RARELY gets put on the changing table. He’s even grown to completely loathe the changing table and scream when he knows he’s about to get laid on it.. so we normally do standing diaper changes.
Potty training and standing changes lead to other messy situations when it comes to having a boy with an out of control penis.
Holden has this habit when he’s sitting on the potty of playing with his peep. Not constantly.. but whenever I ASK him if he’s going to pee-pee, he’ll touch it.. and he ALWAYS touches it when he IS peeing.
And not just touches as to say “hey i’m peeing”, but he pulls his peep OUT of the potty and sprays the floor. I don’t sit close enough to get hit.. but it’s still a whole lot of piss to try and clean up- all while trying to celebrate that he peed in the potty (even if technically the piss didn’t make it IN the potty, it still counts).
This has happened more times then he EVER pissed straight up into the air on the changing table. He’s really gotta learn to POINT DOWN.
Then comes the standing diaper change…
If he doesn’t piss in the potty, you run the risk of him pissing right there on the floor while trying to get a diaper on him.. and he never holds still so it takes a good minute or two to get one securely fastened.
That isn’t as common as him running naked from the waist down out of the bathroom and pissing on the living room floor. He even used one of our couches as a urinal before. That stain never came out.
Seriously, the random peeing never ends. He’s like a wild animal.
I realize little kids don’t understand WHEN they’re peeing.. or don’t understand the feeling that they have to go when they have to go.. but Holden needs to learn before he’s ‘marked’ the entire house with his scent.. and that is NOT the scent I want people to be hit in the face with when they come in to my house.
You wouldn't sniff a stranger's butt to see who pooped their pants.... so you probably shouldn't do these other parental things to strangers, either. holdinholden.com/2017/12/weir…
Weird Things you do for your kids but not Strangers goo.gl/fb/oVuwvG
Tis the season! pic.twitter.com/5VgMLnt22E
I am weak pic.twitter.com/LYdRQ6EZcC
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.