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The end of getting fat & thrilled as we know it?

Some people may not believe it, but i’m pretty up to date with current events. It may be due to the fact that my email is through Yahoo!.. and therefore I get hit with breaking news stories before I log in to get to my mailbox.. But hey, I still read news stories every day. It counts.

Anyways, today while browsing through news stories (such as Chris Brown beating Rihanna.. what the hell?), I see a report of something like 11 stores/business that may be going into nonexistence (as in, bankrupt) this year. Great, more store closings!

Sometimes, store closings can benefit us (us as in.. people who don’t work there), just because there are other stores that sell the exact same things, but less expensive or better.. Such as Circuit City. I’m surprised they’ve stayed afloat for so long. We scored an AWESOME 22″ flatscreen computer monitor from them over the weekend. About damn time. My eyes have seriously been paining me from our old boxy eye-killing monitor.

Upon reading this list of stores that may be sinking into oblivion, I come across a few that totally blew my mind. Krispy Kreme, and Six Flags. WHAT?!
Where will I get my crack-filled donut fix? Come on, admit it, Chris Rock was right, Krispy Kremes HAVE to have crack in them, they’re that damn good. And the HOT DONUTS NOW! that beckon to you as you’re driving by, forcing you to stop and stuff your face until you feel like puking up that sweet disgusting goodness.. who can live without that? Sure, I only eat Krispy Kreme in a blue moon (every few months at most), but I love that it’s there when I really have a hankering to gain 10 lbs in one sitting. I don’t care what anyone else says, NO ONE compares to krispy kreme. Dunkin Donuts may have ‘good coffee’, but their donuts are dry and gross. Sure, they have donut holes.. and those are fun, but they still can not compare to a hot glazed KK donut.

While there is no Six Flags even remotely close to me, I am still shocked that an amusement park is on the list of franchises hurting. Then again, their tickets ARE ridiculously expensive. Still, will we all be stuck driving 500+ miles to go to Disney World? (Disney Land sucks.. seriously, it sucks, it does not deserve to be called Disney. ONE rollercoaster? And it’s WOODEN? Who the hell are you kidding with that shit?)
About 30 minutes from me is Busch Gardens Williamsburg.. which sadly is up in the air as to its’ fate, not because of money, but because Busch Beer has been sold to a company outside the states who wants nothing to do with the amusement park side of the company. Stupid choice if you ask me, but whatever.
Do not make me go to Disney. I don’t want to drive all the way to Florida. I remember the traffic as a child. Sitting in dead stop blazing hot traffic jams for over two hours at a time, while a long haul driver plays the drums on his rig is not something I want to relive.

Sure, there’s Kings Dominion in Richmond.. But all their rides give me a migraine.

Six Flags has become sort of an American staple. Maybe not to the level of Disney, but certainly if you say those two words, people aren’t going to ask you what you’re talking about. Magic Mountain, anyone?

I think it would be a strange place to live if there were no Krispy Kreme, no Six Flags, no Chrysler cars (yep, they were on the list too) among ALL the other places that have already died a slow and painful death (Circuit City, Linens&Things, among others).

And what would they do with the rides, and ALL that land? Man, if I had the money (and the space), i’d buy a huge f’ing rollercoaster, stick it in my backyard, and ride it until I hurled. And then i’d charge admission. I’D BE RICH! Or i’d go bankrupt too. It would still be fun while it lasted.

Posted on February 9, 2009 by Holdin' Holden 1 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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1 Comment

  • I read the same one since I have yahoo mail too. I flipped out when I saw Claire’s on that list! That’s where I was a manager for 5 years and while I never planned on working there again, it’s very strange to think it might disappear and won’t even be an option to fall back on- ever. Everything just can’t keep closing…what are we all supposed to do?