Painting is a much more exhausting task than I had imagined. Even with a friend, it is tedious, long, and messy.
My friend Jess and I went over to the house tonight to start getting shit ready to paint, meaning priming all the walls we possibly could.
I finish sanding the hideous wood walls, and then start helping her tape up the walls. Once we got a good amount of the walls taped, we decided it was time for a smoke break (yeah yeah, EWWWWW, whatever. I’ll blacken my lungs if I want).
She hadn’t seen the back yard yet so we went out back to took a look, and she closes the door behind us. We both immediately had a sinking feeling. She reached back to pull on the door- it had automatically locked itself. WTF, DOOR?!
It’s below freezing outside, so we both say “oh shit” and start walking around the house praying the front door is open. Nope. Thanks to my paranoia, the deadbolt is locked. Damn me for always having to lock the deadbolt!!
We know the garage door doesn’t open since it’s connected to a garage door opener, so our only hope is the windows. Locked. Locked. Locked. SHIT!
Damn Thomas for being efficient and locking all of the windows last night!
Realizing we’re screwed, we call Thomas, who is in the process of putting Holden to bed. He is positive he can get in, so he gets Holden dressed and drives over to the house.
He does the same things Jess and I did, checks all the windows, all the doors.. tries to push the garage door open. Nothing is working. We do not have the money to break a window or call a locksmith. Especially not this late, and both of our purses and keys and all other essentials are in the house- the house that has all the lights on and music playing.
Thomas disappears behind the house. Jess calls her dad, who used to install windows- asking him the easiest and cheapest way to break into our house. As she’s talking to him, Thomas bursts through the front door. We all cheer, Holden is not amused.
He basically had to bust the lock on the laundry room window to get in the house. Which is an easy inexpensive fix.. whereas breaking a window may have cost us $100.
This is when he turns to me and says:
“Don’t ever tell me you don’t feel secure in this house”
So true! Breaking in seems freaking impossible. Well, not know.. with the broken window lock and all.. but once that’s fixed it’ll be like Fort Knox.
Jess and I were relieved to get back inside, but we still had so much work to do and now our hands and feet were freezing.
We still got a lot done, priming the dining room, the entire hallway, and one of the living room walls.
I am more exhausted than i’d imagined! UGH! And there’s still SOOOOOO much more to do it’s unreal.
My final thought is: is primer supposed to look so ugly? I thought the point was to cover the color underneath. I can still see it!!!
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times