At around 12:40 this morning, I got rid of something i’ve had for about 6 years. It wasn’t even something useful, just something i’ve ‘hung on’ to just because i’d had it for so long and I was used to it. Looking back, it really did me more harm than good.
Can you guess what this mystery object is?
My tongue ring.
It is officially retired.
As moms go, i’m probably more tattooed and pierced than most- definitely not conservative by any means.
Getting rid of my tongue ring had nothing to do with people thinking it’s ‘trashy’, or that ‘mommies shouldn’t have tongue rings’ or anything like that.
Partly, it was because it was serving me no use, it was just time to retire the piercing. It wasn’t pretty, the bar was stripped, causing the ball to fall off at extremely inopportune times (like while eating, chomping on a metal ball is not fun).
What really clinched the decision was the fact that last night my mouth hurt SO bad because of how it was resting against my bottom teeth. I honestly just couldn’t take the pain anymore. That wasn’t the first time it’s caused my mouth pain. I never really chomped on it too often, but because my tongue is so short and fat it at times sat in an incredibly uncomfortable position.
Another thing is the peanut allergy. Perhaps i’m making a crazy correlation here, but I NEVER had problems with peanuts (legumes altogether actually) until I got my tongue pierced. I ate reeses and PB&J sandwiches all the time with no problem. I more than enjoyed peanut butter. Ever since having my tongue pierced, legumes have made my tongue swell and my whole mouth sore. Shitty thing to happen for someone who is a HUGE peanut enthusiast.
I’m hoping that now I can go back to eating reeses without the aftermath of a swollen painful tongue. If not, then maybe i’m just shit out of luck and crazy.
Part of me thought i’d regret taking out my tongue ring. I’ve grown sort of attached to the stupid thing. Proved myself wrong, I don’t miss it at ALL. I can lick my own tongue (sounds weird, but you know you can do it, too!), lick my front teeth, curl my tongue all around again. It’s new found freedom!
My mouth on the other hand, might miss it a little bit. I’ve found myself trying to chew a phantom barbell multiple times today. I don’t even do it consciously, it was just something I did so many times a day that my mouth has grown used to having a bar sticking through my tongue.
Sure, it gave me something to do when I was bored.. or angry.. Other than that, what purpose did it serve?
As far as the assumptions that it’s ‘amazing for oral sex’… I’d have to disagree. I don’t really see how a metal bar/ball poking around your nether region would feel good unless you want to try and put a vibrating ball on the end of your barbell and try to buzz the other person’s genitals- that is just not for me- sorry!
Nope, don’t miss it at all! The only things i’m semi-paranoid about is that I now only have 13 piercings.. is 13 a lucky number, or an unlucky number? Might depend on how you look at the number in general.. I don’t think I can handle my luck getting any worse right now, thank you very much.
That, and I worry that somehow, food will get stuck in the hole (assuming it hasn’t already closed up, I doubt it has yet) and then come seeping out days later and i’ll be tasting rotten goopy and/or clumpy nastiness. Sounds yummy, right? Mmmm, appetizing.
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times