Upon looking at baby pictures of myself, I had a feeling Holden would be mostly hairless for a long time. I don’t think I had a good head of hair until I was well over 2 years old. Thin, short, and blond. Obviously that’s changed now. I have a shitload of hair and have to have it thinned out or it starts looking like a mop on my head.
Holden was born with a lot of dark hair. Color me surprised. Surprised at the amount, and of course the color.. seeing as Thomas and I were blonds as children.
That’s when everyone started telling me Holden was going to lose all of that gorgeous hair the older he got and ‘new hair’ would grow in. It sounded totally insane to me. Babies lose their hair? What kind of bullshittery is that?
Sure enough, the hair started to go. First the sideburns, then the top. The only hair that stayed was the hair right where his neck met his bulbous head, and at the crown of his head. We called it ‘the whirlpool.’ Soon, that was really the only hair he had. It seemed like peach fuzz everywhere else, and I started to worry that Holden would soon be the proud owner of a hairstyle lovingly known as ‘the mullet.’ I don’t know a single person who thinks a mullet is cool… even though I see them sported around here quite often by the rednecks and hillbillies who inhabit the area. Those are also the people who have confederate flags flying from their cars and bumper stickers that say “It’s heritage, not racism!” Riiiiiiight. This was obviously not something I wanted Holden to have.
His hair has SO slowly been growing back in, while his whirlpool and mud flap has gotten ridiculously long. Still, I have been holding out hope that somehow the hair on the top of his head would catch up to the back and even out and NOT turn into a mullet. I guess I somewhat got my wish. His sideburns seem to be the fastest growing hair on his head now.. which is weird, but i’ll take it.
The bed head that comes along with long thin baby hair is also not very ideal. It’s impossible to keep down, and now Holden sometimes ends up looking like Alfalfa from ‘The Little Rascals’
when he wakes up from a nap.
No water in the world will keep that hair down.
I’m still sticking to my guns and not cutting his hair. I refuse. I love his shaggy hair. Holden was practically bald for so long, he deserves to have some insulation up there for a while.
Now, I don’t plan on letting it get so long that people can’t tell whether he’s a boy or a girl… but never ever will he ever have a bowl cut.
STOP GIVING YOUR CHILDREN BOWL CUTS! IT MAKES THEM LOOK LIKE PENISES!
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times