This morning, I drug myself out of bed ridiculously early and made my way to the oral surgeon. Filled out assloads of paperwork and was forced to sit in a room watching the news with a woman who wouldn’t STFU about her contempt for Obama, and finally got called back.
The nurse had my exact name and nickname (uncommon), I liked her immediately. I try to get my tongue ring out for the x-ray to be taken and the stupid thing won’t budge (but loves to come out at the most inopportune times.. like when i’m eating). Doesn’t matter, we do the x-ray anyways.
Go back to the room, and the surgeon comes in. He’s a no BS kind of guy. Very matter of-fact.. to the point where he’s sort of assholish, but I like that about him.
He examines my mouth, and says nonchalantly “oh yeah, this is a mess.” Duh.
The x-ray comes back a few minutes later, and i’m screwed. I didn’t luck out like I had hoped and get away with only having one wisdom tooth to pull- I have 3. Both top ones, and one bottom one. AWESOME! And the two that haven’t cut yet are DEEP. Even more awesomeness.
I’m then forced to watch a video not unlike the ones you were forced to watch about car crashes in drivers-ed. Risks of wisdom teeth, surgery facts, bla bla bla. Assholish surgeon probably just didn’t want me to berate him with a ton of questions.
Video finishes, same-name nurse and assholish surgeon come back into the room and start giving me ‘the talk’ about anesthesia. Of course, i’ve already decided there is NO WAY IN HELL I want to be awake while he’s slicing into my mouth and yanking teeth out. I explain this to him, and tell him about my fear of dentists- he laughs and I swear rolls his eyes and makes some sarcastic comment as though he doesn’t believe that i’m afraid of dentists, probably thinks i’m some anesthesia junkie, and then I have to sign an assload more paperwork stating that I understand the risks of surgery and being knocked out.
Then i’m told that because of my history of anemia and some other things, that I need to have bloodwork done in order to be put under. Yay, more hoops to jump through!
The sooner I get this done, the sooner I can have my surgery. If I get it done today, I can have my surgery Wednesday morning. Yay! And boo…
The bloodwork has to be done elsewhere- there is a lab in the hospital (which the surgeon’s office is sort of connected to, so at least if I try to die during surgery, I won’t be far from help).
Since Thomas is home for half of the day taking care of Holden, it was the best (and probably only) time to go. Begrudgingly I do so.
The lab is like a busy restaurant… with a senior citizens special. They gave me a pager that would buzz when my ‘table’ was ready. I sit down and am surrounded with old people who walk with cane, they all give me dirty looks. Probably cursing the fact that I can walk standing straight up.
I wait… and wait… and wait. Try to play Tetris on my phone, but it only has the demo version and therefore will only let me play for about 30 seconds.
Finally, my pager goes off. The nurse is nice. I’m so used to giving blood (when I was preggo I gave about 6 viles every time I went to my OB for a checkup) that it doesn’t even phase me anymore. Then it’s time for a pee sample (to make sure i’m not preggo, HAH!). The person before me failed to flush.Come on people! Takes less than a second, no one wants to see your stagnant piss.
There are signs on the wall literally showing you step-by-step procedure on how to pee in a cup. I will not go into detail, but I laughed… a lot.
I’m done doing my part.. so I go home, and Thomas goes back to work. Holden is in a ridiculously bad mood. Pees in the potty, and then craps in a fresh diaper. This day just gets more and more awesome!
I get a message from assholish-surgeon’s office saying that my lab work needed to be sent out to Norfolk because my new insurance said so (about 45 minutes away) and due to that, my lab work will not be back in time in order to get my surgery done on Wednesday.
Instantly, I am super pissed. I’m dealing with Holden (who is still in his god-awful mood), so I can not call them back.. I tell Thomas to.
He gets the run around from the lab, but is told that my lab work being sent out to Norfolk should in no way impede my scheduled surgery. He calls assholish-surgeon’s office back and tells them that, and they are confused but agree to go ahead and keep my surgery appointment on Wednesday instead of making me reschedule.
I then get another call from assholish-surgeon’s office saying that my insurance is covering all of the surgery except for $300.00… and they don’t offer a payment plan option so it’s all going to be need to paid up front. We don’t have $300 to be throwing around.. I am not pleased.
That is my day in a nutshell. My mouth hurts. If I get a call tomorrow saying (once again) that I can not get my surgery done on Wednesday… all hell will break lose.
Just take these bitches already!!!!
And people wonder why I hate dealing with doctors.
@DianeAuten I'm so glad you're enjoying it!
I don't know what I want for dinner, but I can guarantee it's not any of the 14 things my husband will suggest.
@ThisIsAstartes Best worst little shits on the planet.
What's that smell? A lot of pants on fire. pic.twitter.com/bVK0FnJgeB
I'm officially done parenting. Here's how I did it: holdinholden.com/2018/01/im-o…
I’m Officially Finished Parenting. Here’s how I did it goo.gl/fb/TBJQPJ