Before Holden came along, I had ZERO experience with babies. Not a single tiny minuscule bit. As a child, I didn’t like other children, so I never babysat. Never changed a diaper. I think I fed my baby cousin a bottle ONE time, that was the extend of my ‘experience.’
Hell, before Thomas and I actually started dating (instead of messing around like a bunch of morons), I didn’t even WANT children.
Whoever said that when it’s your OWN children it’s different, was exactly right. I still can’t stand other small children (usually the ones around the ages of 3-6), with Holden it’s just different. I always laugh at my friends who say “I don’t EVER WANT CHILDREN”.. because I know someday they’ll find themselves in a precarious situation where a piss strip has two pink lines and they’re shit out of luck. Anyways, that’s not the point.
I’m not sure why it’s an assumption that it takes a lot of experience to be a ‘good parent’- that those who have had hundreds of hours babysitting will make better ones than those who haven’t.. In my opinion it just isn’t true. It may make someone more prepared for what’s to come (blow out poops, projectile vomit, etc etc), but not necessarily BETTER. I’ve had babysitters who sucked at taking care of me.. so the theory is flawed.
What it takes is a shit load of patience and regular old common sense. And in my case, a hell of a lot of googling.
When you first bring your child home from the hospital (assuming you have no other children to go off of), everything is new and confusing. The first diaper change might be kind of confusing “Which side is the front? Where the hell does this sticky tab go? How tight am I supposed to fasten it?” But it’s all relatively easy to get the hang of. You fall into your own groove. And no ONE groove is the ‘right’ groove. The world would be a strange place if we were all raised exactly the same.. and who doesn’t love a good ‘crazy family’ story every now and then?
If there’s any dire questions you must have answered, trusty Google will always be there to help you out. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure a baby out- although, with a baby, confusion is never far behind.
There are things I still haven’t figured out.. like.. Why does Holden eat lint off of the floor? Why does he poop in a brand new diaper? Why does he throw his sippy across the room and instantly want it back? Why does he instantly go for the cat’s tail and not some other part?
The list could go on and on, but that just comes with the territory.
Of course, there are some people who I think just should NEVER EVER procreate- but I won’t go into that. What i’m trying to say is any person with common sense can take care of a baby. You just have to WANT to take care of someone. It’s tedious, time consuming, and sometimes (ok.. a lot of times) downright frustrating.. but if crazy drugged out hippies from the 70’s can do it (ahem: Mommy)- you can too.
Aww, look at me, being all motivational.
Leftovers are great for 2 things: Easy, quick dinners, and getting to hear your kids complain about the same meal twice in a week!
@anninabyrne He mentioned something about penis trampolines. I don't even know.
My 10 yo didn't know that Dick is short for Richard so he's spent the past 10 yrs thinking Dick's Sporting Goods is a store for penis sports
8yo told me that Oct 31st is "national knock-knock joke day"- which means Halloween will henceforth be known as "The Most Annoying Day Ever"
@SassyPsychDoc "It seemed like a good idea at the time"
@SassyPsychDoc I fact-checked him myself. Someone was seriously sleeping on the job that day
Thought my 8yo was lying when he said that a male woodchuck is a he-chuck & a female is a she-chuck.Nope. If I have to know that, so do you!
Sometimes advice from our kids is EXACTLY what we need to hear. Been a rough few months & what my 8yo said hit home holdinholden.com/2017/10/winn…
10yo: What is calculus? Me: It's you + me = us Husband: get out. #oldpeoplejokes