It’s never a surprise to me how different my Dad’s side of the family is compared to my Mom’s side, but it’s not until I have family functions back to back with each side that it shocks me how polar opposite they are.
While in some ways, the term ‘opposites attract’ can be true.. There’s a fine line between being different and having absolutely nothing in common. My parents were the latter. Sure, it’s boring to have everything in common with someone and essentially having nothing to talk about.. but can’t the same be said for those who have NOTHING in common? Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.
Guess it was true for my parents, they were married for 13 years and towards the end fought constantly.
My mom was the hippie flower child (I use past tense because she passed away when I was 19) and my Dad was and always will be a straight laced square. Sounds harsh, but it’s so true.
Now, I don’t want to go as far as to say functions at my Dad’s house are boring, but they’re definitely more for the children than the adults. It might be because there are WAY more small children on that side, but as far as I can remember it’s always been that way. There’s no drinking of anything alcoholic.. There’s always sort of a boundary between the older adults and younger adults. Not a lot of vulgarity, not a ton of ‘fun’ (depending on your definition of it). I can be myself to a point, but I know that if I be totally uncensored as I like to be, i’ll end up totally offending someone. Not that religion should have a huge bearing on how you act around someone, but being that Thomas and I are athiest (GASP!!!!), and my Dad’s family are all super-Christians.. there’s quite a bit of a difference in what we talk about and how we act. I have total respect for peoples’ religious beliefs, I just like to stay out of those conversations altogether- and there are TONS of conversations about Jesus and God when you’re at my Dad’s. Last night was the first night I heard any talk about sex at my Dad’s.. shocking to say the least.
Going to my aunt & uncle’s house (my uncle being my mom’s brother) is like entering a totally different world. While the kids get totally spoiled and are incredibly loved, i’d have to say the gatherings are geared more towards adults. I can completely be myself around my mom’s side of the family, and while I may get a few eyebrows raised (because let’s face it, i’m disgusting), they’re always followed by laughs instead of confusion. In a way, I feel as if i’m treated a lot more like an adult. I’m not sure my dad will ever see me as anything more than his little girl. They’re also incredibly open about drinking. Always a lot of drinking that goes on over there. A lot of laughing. A lot of really funny memories. More than anything, being around my mom’s family always makes me feel a little closer to her- and it isn’t just because they’re constantly telling me how much I look like her (and I always disagree).
This brings me back to my original point- what in the hell was the attraction between my parents? Two polar opposites.
Did my dad always want to date a bad girl, and my mom was tired of dating psycho assholes?
Obviously, in the end it didn’t work. They got divorced and my mom went back to dating assholes who never ever made her happy.. and my Dad ended up marrying someone a lot more like him (though not totally alike) and that seems like it’s going to last for the long haul.
Did I mention my parents were 11 years apart? Always liked to tease my Dad about how when he was a senior in highschool, my mom was in kindergarten. Ewwwww, gross to think about that way!
I like to think Thomas and I have a good mix of being alike and different. We certainly never run out of things to talk about.. good or bad. I guess only time will tell. I certainly don’t plan on being a single mom, EVER.
Oh, and Merry Christmas, if you’re into that sort of thing. Have a drink! If it’s eggnog, don’t tell me, I might vomit.
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