Mom vs. Dad

It’s never a surprise to me how different my Dad’s side of the family is compared to my Mom’s side, but it’s not until I have family functions back to back with each side that it shocks me how polar opposite they are.
While in some ways, the term ‘opposites attract’ can be true.. There’s a fine line between being different and having absolutely nothing in common. My parents were the latter. Sure, it’s boring to have everything in common with someone and essentially having nothing to talk about.. but can’t the same be said for those who have NOTHING in common? Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.
Guess it was true for my parents, they were married for 13 years and towards the end fought constantly.

My mom was the hippie flower child (I use past tense because she passed away when I was 19) and my Dad was and always will be a straight laced square. Sounds harsh, but it’s so true.

Now, I don’t want to go as far as to say functions at my Dad’s house are boring, but they’re definitely more for the children than the adults. It might be because there are WAY more small children on that side, but as far as I can remember it’s always been that way. There’s no drinking of anything alcoholic.. There’s always sort of a boundary between the older adults and younger adults. Not a lot of vulgarity, not a ton of ‘fun’ (depending on your definition of it). I can be myself to a point, but I know that if I be totally uncensored as I like to be, i’ll end up totally offending someone. Not that religion should have a huge bearing on how you act around someone, but being that Thomas and I are athiest (GASP!!!!), and my Dad’s family are all super-Christians.. there’s quite a bit of a difference in what we talk about and how we act. I have total respect for peoples’ religious beliefs, I just like to stay out of those conversations altogether- and there are TONS of conversations about Jesus and God when you’re at my Dad’s. Last night was the first night I heard any talk about sex at my Dad’s.. shocking to say the least.

Going to my aunt & uncle’s house (my uncle being my mom’s brother) is like entering a totally different world. While the kids get totally spoiled and are incredibly loved, i’d have to say the gatherings are geared more towards adults. I can completely be myself around my mom’s side of the family, and while I may get a few eyebrows raised (because let’s face it, i’m disgusting), they’re always followed by laughs instead of confusion. In a way, I feel as if i’m treated a lot more like an adult. I’m not sure my dad will ever see me as anything more than his little girl. They’re also incredibly open about drinking. Always a lot of drinking that goes on over there. A lot of laughing. A lot of really funny memories. More than anything, being around my mom’s family always makes me feel a little closer to her- and it isn’t just because they’re constantly telling me how much I look like her (and I always disagree).

This brings me back to my original point- what in the hell was the attraction between my parents? Two polar opposites.
Did my dad always want to date a bad girl, and my mom was tired of dating psycho assholes?

Obviously, in the end it didn’t work. They got divorced and my mom went back to dating assholes who never ever made her happy.. and my Dad ended up marrying someone a lot more like him (though not totally alike) and that seems like it’s going to last for the long haul.
Did I mention my parents were 11 years apart? Always liked to tease my Dad about how when he was a senior in highschool, my mom was in kindergarten. Ewwwww, gross to think about that way!

I like to think Thomas and I have a good mix of being alike and different. We certainly never run out of things to talk about.. good or bad. I guess only time will tell. I certainly don’t plan on being a single mom, EVER.

Oh, and Merry Christmas, if you’re into that sort of thing. Have a drink! If it’s eggnog, don’t tell me, I might vomit.

Posted on December 25, 2008 by Holdin' Holden 5 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden



  • I’m glad you ended up having a good time at your aunt and uncle’s! I didn’t know you were an atheist(Idk why not bc I figured I would’ve seen that posted SOMEWHERE at some point in time lol)! That made me think you might not respond to my blog post at all! 😛

    Scribefire is saying the same thing to me… Weird. 🙁 I’ve gotten SO CLOSE to the minimum and it’s like the clicks are slowing down. Doesn’t make sense.

    I pray for a GREAT 2009 or I’m going to lose it. Really lose it, lol.

  • Haha well, it isn’t something I announce, just because I know it’s a hot-button debate topic- and for the most part i’d like to avoid fundies biting my head off.
    My dad is INCREDIBLY religious and always has been.
    I have no problem with religion or people believing whatever they want to believe. Whatever helps you through the day, KWIM? however.. Scientology.. is the most ridiculous shit ever and i’d probably laugh in someone’s face if they told me they practiced ANY religion that makes you pay to gain a higher level of ‘clarity’, so perhaps i’m a bit of a hypocrite but whatever.
    for the most part, I consider myself respectful haha

    I haven’t slowed down on clicking for you! at least yours is showing SOME clicks, mine shows zero EVER. wtf.
    have you signed up for Socialspark yet??

  • I do notice your two sides of your family. And, I have wondered the same thing before… how did your mom and dad meet and get married?

    I really enjoyed the Christmases that we had this year. Although you and I didn’t receive much, I feel as though Holden got what he wanted. Our gifts were great though. People seem to put some time into what we want. I think my favorite part of being at your Dad’s Christmas is always the “Bad/Dirty/Naughty Santa” game, it’s a lot of fun.

    I do like that Heather and Wayne were very excited about the gifts that we gave them, although not expensive, we did put some good thought into them. Also, their house is way more baby-friendly than your Dads.

    Hopefully, we will get to know H & W more closely. They seem a lot like the crowd that we really enjoy.

  • That really shows what kind of a person you are to be able to accept another person’s beliefs-as long as it’s not Scientology lol. Tom Cruise!

    I signed up for SocialSpark the other day. Somehow I ended up as friends with this guy and Idk how. Crazy lol! I just couldn’t find anything available on PPP. I’m thinking I messed up with the tags/interests or something!

  • all hail XENU! OUR EVIL ALIEN OVERLORD! wtcrap! lol!

    PPP is practically impossible to get opps on. They release them to AREAS at a time, so you’ll see things you are qualified for but all slots are taken. Once in a while you’ll be able to snatch one up so keep checking back.

    The dude you’re friends with on SS i think must be the owner. Like how you’re automatically friends with Tom on myspace.